Monthly Archives: January 2018

Movie Review – Father Figures (2017)

Who’s your Daddy?

No, seriously, these guys want to know.

BQB here with a review of “Father Figures.”

Every holiday season, Hollywood puts out at least one vapid, forgettable comedy.  The jokes are predictable, the plot is lame, and while it provides a little bit of entertainment during your Yuletide downtime, you won’t exactly be watching this film over and over again.

Going into it, “Father Figures” feels like that, and it is in many ways but I’ll give it credit.  It is a tad better than the usual holiday comedy fare.

Ed Helms and Owen Wilson are twin brothers in their forties.  Owen has coasted through life, always lucking his way into riches.  Ed works hard, does everything right but can never get ahead.

When their mother (Glenn Close) gets married late in life, she confides a secret to the boys – the man who she had long said was their father never was.  He’s still out there and due to her promiscuous 1970s disco lifestyle, there are a lot of potential paternal candidates.

From there, the film becomes a mad cap road trip romp as the dudes hunt down various men who may be their pappies.

Football legend Terry Bradshaw (as himself), JK Simmons, Christopher Walken and some other guy I’ve seen in a lot of films but I’m too lazy to look up his name all take turns as possible dads to these two dummies.  Honestly, the “father search” more or less serves as a plot device that allows the duo to meet and go on adventures with a bunch of old men.  The movie becomes a series of skits tied behind a flimsy premise.

Along the way, Ed and Owen pick up Katt Williams, who joins the quest and shows he has some range.  At first, I was disappointed that Katt didn’t do his usual pimp character, but after awhile I realized this was Katt’s chance to prove he could do something other than that and honestly, he does shine.  While I hope he doesn’t completely give up his pimp-ness, this may be the start of more in-depth roles for our favorite pimp comedian.

STATUS:  It’s always good when you think a movie will suck only for it to not suck as much as you thought it would.  Shelf-worthy.

 

 

 

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Movie Review – The Mountain Between Us (2017)

Love in the time of plane crashes.

BQB here with a review of the sappy love fest, “The Mountain Between Us.”

Two strangers, a photojournalist (Kate Winslet) and a surgeon (Idris Elba), share a plane ride only to end up stranded in a frozen wasteland when their plane crashes.

Lost, cold, and with only a dog to keep them company, the duo set out to seek civilization, only to squabble before they find love.  Alas, it’s forbidden love.  Both have ongoing issues that prevent a relationship between them and yet the stress urges them to seek solace in one another’s naughty parts.  Will they?  Won’t they?  Will they freeze to death before they get to bang?  What if they bang and then freeze together and get stuck like that?

A bit clichéd and predictable, this is an Oscar lite production that allows Winslet and Elba to exercise their acting muscles while exploring the age old question of what to do when love breaks out in the most inconvenient, unexpected of times.

Two great actors but the writing is a tad blah.  There’s clearly an attempt to go full blown dramatic.  Every five seconds there’s a new, “Oh my God they’re suffering so much please don’t let it get any worse for them but….OH MY GOD! It got so much worse!!!”

STATUS:  Shelf-worthy.  The dog is the best actor in the film.

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Fridays with BQB

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Hey 3.5 readers.

So, you’ve heard of “Tuesdays with Morrie?”

Well, the bad news is that I’m not a feisty old man with a zest for life and a lot of wisdom to impart.

The good news is that I’m not dying.

Wait, you all think that’s BAD news?  Why, with 3.5 friends like you, who needs 3.5 enemies?

Anyway, I need to promote more, to get this fine blog out into the Inter Webs more and to be more social, so I’m going to start a new feature.  Every Friday, there will be an interview, usually with a self-publisher but I’m sure I’ll branch out to bloggers, podcasters, YouTubers, any creative person who is doing it on his/her own.

Anyone interested in participating?  Anyone know of a good candidate?

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New Year Resolutions You Can Actually Keep

Fart more.

Eat more.

Be ruder.

Smell worse.

Do less.

Procrastinate more…tomorrow.

Exercise less.

Watch more TV.

Play more video games.

Be lazier.

Read less.

Fail more.

Don’t be productive.

Eat more candy.

Don’t get out and meet anyone.

Get fatter.

 

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Back in business!

Happy New Year, 3.5 readers.

BQB here.  Just got my brand new Surface Book 2.  Gotta say, I’m pretty impressed.  The future is here!

Turns from a computer to a tablet and back again seamlessly.  Going to take me awhile to figure it all out but one thing I like is that you can snap windows so you can do two things at once.

For example, right now I am blogging to my 3.5 readers and also watching Guardians of the Galaxy 2 on Netflix.

Does anyone really need to do two things at once?  I don’t know.  But it’s cool that you can.

I actually can see some useful potential, i.e. being able to put the blog on the left, Word on the right and cut and paste between the two.

It’s definitely cooler than any computer I’ve had thus far.  Nothing like I thought a computer would be like or do, say, ten years ago.

I treated myself to a brand spankin’ new one, but fun fact – if you’re interested, Amazon has the original 1 version of the Surface Book for around 800 something bucks.  i5 processor but still, a Surface book 2 with an i5 will run you about 1400 so, take advantage if you want a version of the Surface Book that won’t break the bank.

Sadly, I chose to break the bank.  But oh well, that just means I can’t buy any covers for books I won’t be publishing anytime soon for awhile.