Tag Archives: election

East Randomtown Mayor’s Race -Vote for Leo McKoy Because Bookshelf Q. Battler is an Epic Doucheface and His Dumb Blog Should Be Banned Because it Stinks

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Statesman. Barfly. Deliverer of Sandwiches to the Stars. Leo McKoy Needs Your Vote.

Bookshelf Q. Battler.

He thinks he’s a real great hero, what because he saved East Randomtown from a zombie apocalypse.

And sure, he has a WordPress blog with 3.5 readers.

Leo McKoy could pull rank and mention how he once delivered a sandwich to James Van Der Beek, the actor who played Dawson on Dawson’s Creek.

But Leo would rather talk about the issues.

FREE POTATO AND FIXINGS BAR

Leo McKoy has been saying it for years. “What? This town doesn’t have a free potato bar? When did I fall asleep and get transported to Communist Russia?”

That’s right. Because the Communist Russians do not have free potato bars because they hate freedom and also potatoes.

If Leo McKoy is elected, he will personally provide over a free potato bar in the town square every Monday or, if Monday is a holiday, then he will hold the potato bar on Tuesday because you shouldn’t expect him to give up his Monday holiday, you ingrates.

Bacon bits. Sour cream. Butter. Chives. Chili. Refried beans. Tabasco sauce. Ketchup. Mustard. Ninety-five different kinds of ice cream. Thousand island dressing. Ranch dressing. Honey mustard.

If you can put it on a potato, then your free town potato bar will have it.

East Randomtownians will never have to put shoes on their hands and gloves on their feet and walk around on their hands as if their hands were feet on Leo McKoy’s watch.

Leo McKoy was the only candidate to pledge that our dear townsfolk will never be subjugated to a law that requires them to wear shoes on their hands and use their hands as their feet and their feet as their hands.

That would be a ridiculous law and Leo McKoy does not care that such a method of walking is required by the town’s bylaws. McKoy will not rest until that bylaw is repealed and East Randomtownians are walking on their feet like honest, God fearing folk.

CATS WILL NOT BE ALLOWED TO READ YOUR MINDS

That’s right. If you believe your cat is trying to read your mind, report said feline to Mayor McKoy and your cat will spend the rest of his or her nine lives in cat prison.

Also, Mayor McKoy will expend most of the town’s treasury on the construction of a cat prison.

WE WILL CREATE AN ALL MILF POLICE FORCE

East Randomtown’s police force will be staffed by a bevy of forty year old babes who have given birth yet still managed to keep their shit hella tight and defy gravity.

If you are going to do some shit that’s going to get you arrested, you’ll feel a lot better if you’re hauled in by a MILF.

NO ONE WILL BE ALLOWED TO QUESTION IF MAYOR MCKOY IS A ROBOT

Bookshelf Q. Battler lied when he said he saw McKoy get eaten by zombies. McKoy is not a robot and he is so certain the townsfolk trust him that he will make it illegal to have politicians checked for metal balls.

MONEY WILL NOT BE WASTED ON RIDICULOUS THINGS

A McKoy administration will tighten the town’s belt by doing the following:

  • The East Randomtown Library will be shuttered and bulldozed. No one has stepped foot in it since it was discovered that books steal your souls.
  • All subjects at East Randomtown High School will be cancelled and replaced with one catch all class entitled, “Keeping it Real.” Taught by Mayor McKoy himself, students will learn that math is bullshit, science is a load of crap and no one needs to know what how to read the Englishes good as long as they know how to keep it real.
  • The town dump will be closed. Residents will be encouraged to sweep trash under their beds.  You can always get more trash under your bed so stop complaining.
  • Roads will not be repaved. Everyone is too fat and will be required to walk everywhere. Seriously, people. Look at yourselves. Even Mayor McKoy wouldn’t make a pass at you, that’s how fat you all are.

A STATUTE OF JAMES AND LEO

That’s right. A solid gold statute will be built to memorialize the glorious time when Leo McKoy delivered a sandwich to James Van Der Beek.

BAN THE BOOKSHELF BATTLE BLOG

You know with all the zombie attacks, and the yeti always going on a tear, and the space aliens always parking their ships on our front lawns and probing people in unflattering places, life sure isn’t easy in East Randomtown.

But has anyone noticed that life got worse around the same time Bookshelf Q. Battler started his stupid blog?

BQB’s blog is a magnet that pulls every last supernatural asshole in the universe to our humble town.

Thus, when Leo McKoy is elected, he will shut down BQB’s entire operation.  All the weirdo monsters that keep descending on our town will get lost and BQB’s 3.5 readers will never be entertained again.

CONCLUSION

A lot of people talk about delivering a sandwich to a 1990s teen heart throb but Leo McKoy was the only man with the guts to actually do it.

Did you do it? No? Then shut your suck hole and be a man and vote for Leo McKoy, because he’ll stop BQB and his dumb blog from destroying our lousy ass town.

PAID FOR BY THE COMMITTEE TO CONVINCE YOU THAT BOOKSHELF Q. BATTLER IS A STUPID DOUCHEFACE WHOSE BLOG SHOULD BE SHUT DOWN SO VOTE FOR LEO MCKOY OR EVERYTHING BAD THAT HAPPENS IN THIS TOWN IS YOUR FAULT BECAUSE HE TRIED TO WARN YOU

 

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I was touched inappropriately by Hillary Clinton And Donald trump

3.5 readers while everyone is telling their stories I figured I would finally tell mine.

Hillary Clinton touched my hiney.

The year was 1998. Smashing Pumpkins were all the rage and neon clothing was in.

Why was it ever out? A question for another day.

There I was, wearing my multicolored 8 ball jacket, walking down the street, minding my own business.

I’d been listening to Bell Biv Devoe on my CD Walkman for hours and felt it was time to switch things up to Salt N Pepa.

Alas, I dropped my CD holder. The CDs scattered everywhere. 

And then, as I bent over to pick up my CDs, I felt it – the First Lady’s hand all over my firm, supple buttocks.

“Mmm yummy!” the former FLOTUS said. “Mama likey!”

“Oh my God!” I cried. “First Lady of the United States Hillary Clinton! Did you just touch my derrière?”

“I can neither confirm nor deny that I touched the alleged hiney in question,” Hillary said. “And youse better not talk to no one about it if you know what’s good for you, see?”

Hillary, who sounded like a 1930s gangster, ran off into the night and left me with my shame.

I dropped to my knees and shouted to the stars, “Why God? Why? Why have you sentenced me to a lifetime of agony due to having my ass touched by the most powerful woman in the world? Could this day get any worse?”

And so I laid there in the street for awhile until a limo pulled up and a man stepped out.

The suit. The hair.

“What’s this whack job doing in the middle of the road?” the Donald said. “I’m Donald J. Trump and I’m on my way to a very important business meeting which I assure you will be very classy and very fantastic. No one holds a better business meeting than I do, OK? I hold them better than they do in China, that’s for sure.”

“Oh,” I said. “Sorry Mr Trump. I was just a bit hysterical because Hillary Clinton just touched my ass.”

“The Hillary Clinton?” Donald asked. “She and her husband are good friends of mine. Excellent friends. I cut checks to them all the time. I’m sure we’ll be friends forever and speaking of Friends, that show is still on the air because it’s the 90s. Ross will never get with Rachel, that much I can tell you. Ross is a loser. He really is. Very low energy.”

“I’ll get out of your way,” I said.

But before I could, I felt the smallest hand ever on my rump.

“This does absolutely nothing for me, just so you know,” Trump said. “Worst hiney I’ve ever touched, ok? You really need to start working out big league.”

I walked away but remained very sad and depressed for the rest of my life. In fact at the time I was about to become the world’s first guitar playing astronaut but the mental pain was so much I had to settle for starting a blog with only 3.5 readers.

Also, my attorney advises me to say this is all just a joke, not true, and never happened.

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Daily Discussion with BQB – Are Trump and Hillary in love?

Look, I’m just going to say it.

All that tension at the second presidential debate was because Trump and Hillary are in love.

Hillary is tired of Bill running around on her and wants a man with gravity defying hair.

Trump yearns to get all up in that sweet ass pantsuit.

They’re fighting over this and that but really its all just to mask the fact that they want to bone.

Could be speculation but I don’t know.

And further, I don’t even want to speculate what it would sound like.

You know what? I won’t speculate about it because it would decrease the dignity of this fine blog.

TRUMP: Oh yeah…oh yeah…this YUGE!  Thanks to me, Donald J. Trump, your bed is going to experience the highest ratings it has ever seen. You’re welcome.

HILLARY: Oh Donald! Hit that delete key, my chia headed stallion! Hit that delete key hard!

TRUMP: This is so classy. Really, its so fantastic. We’re gonna go at it big league!

HILLARY: Hold on.  I have to take off my pantsuit and then the three other pantsuits underneath my pantsuit.  Ugh, wait, I need my walker…

Hmmm.  Oh well. It’s a good thing only 3.5 people read this.

Look, that’s just a hypothetical recreation of what a Trump/Hillary rendezvous would sound like.

And who knows? Maybe if they were to get together, maybe the country would benefit.

What say you, 3.5? Are the Donald and Hillary secretly in love?

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Search Engine Optimized Poet – An Ode to Ken Bone

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SEO Poet

:::Bongo Drum Beats:::

Hey there all you hep cats and hep kittens. Come on down to the East Randomtown Java Bean, where the poets always stink and the cups are never clean.

Next on the mic is the one and only Search Engine Optimized Poet…the only rhyme-smith whose beats bring in the web searchers’ feets, ya dig?

Ken Bone!

Whoa, Ken Bone!

Why is your sweater so bright?

Portly mustached man with thinning hair and glasses for your sight.

Fright?  Of a world that doesn’t treat you right?

No. He refused to give that thought a single respite.

He wanted answers as to the country’s energy plight.

Fight! That’s what the presidential debate was.

But…buzz! That’s what Ken Bone got because…

…he wears his lip fuzz…

…like a boss.  He didn’t get cross and he had nothing to hide

A breathe of fresh air while the rest of the country sighed,

At two dummies who make the founding fathers cry.

Ken Bone! Look at you and the way you plug about your day.

Just because you’re not a supermodel you don’t feel any dismay.

Or, if you do, it never shows,

Even though around and around the toilet bowl is where our country goes.

Ken Bone you are a star, especially to me,

And a champion of non-supermodels everywhere, just like BQB.

BQB EDITORIAL NOTE: I’d like to say I’m very proud of Ken Bone.  Although I have to say it shouldn’t be a news story that someone who is a little chubby and style challenged was able to ask an interesting question at a presidential debate, I’m glad that he did.

He’s become a bit of an Internet sensation and I feel part of that is a lot of people saying, “Wow! People who don’t look like supermodels have thoughts?!”

Yes. Yes they do. Stop being so surprised.

Still, as far as I’ve heard, no one seems to be busting on him (at least not in a mean way) so whenever the Internet shows class we can be happy.

Finally, to increase SEO optimization, allow me to say – Ken Bone! Ken Bone. Ken Bone. Ken Bone, the guy in the red sweater who asked a question at the presidential debate.

Yes, the debate with Trump vs. Clinton where Ken Bone asked a question about energy. Also, Ken Bone.  Or possibly, Kenneth Bone.

 

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#31WaystoDefeatAVampire – Politics

By: Count Krakovich, Asshat Vampire

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Bleh!

Trump, Hillary.  Hillary, Trump.

But I’m the bloodsucker?

Makes sense, bleh.

Yes, vampires hate politics – not so much government but people who make dumb arguments on both sides and them post them all over your Facebook wall long after you’ve told them you don’t care what they think, bleh.

The quickest way to get a vampire to turn tail is to offer your dumb opinions.  We prefer to keep it light and loosey goosey.  If you can’t be friends with someone who doesn’t share your political viewpoints then you’re a bigger weirdo than I am.

Have you ever caused a vampire to roll his eyes with your political discourse?

Discuss in the comments.

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The Astounding Nerdstradamus – The Jello Wrestling Election, the Google/Amazon War for the Universe, the Blow Less Smoke Up Kids’ Asses Initiative

And now, from Bookshelf Q. Battler Headquarters in Fabulous East Randomtown, the Astounding Nerdstradamus shares his confounding prognostications of the future of nerd kind…

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Step forward, nerds, and do not be afraid for I, the Astounding Nerdstradamus do now make my predictions known:

  • The Election of 2016 shall be decided not at the ballot box but in a jello wrestling pit. Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton shall forego the usual democratic process and opt instead to get naked, oil up, and wrassle one another in a giant tub of orange gelatin. The match will be epic and though there will be many disgusting sights and angles that viewers will never be able to remove from their memories, the event itself will draw the highest viewership in the history of television.
  • Nicki Minaj will be named Poet Laureate of the United States. In her acceptance speech, she will recite her most recent lines from the smash hit Dance (A$$) in which women with luxurious asses are, in fact, urged to dance. Not only will the crowd be shocked, but literary scholars will, for centuries thereafter, debate whether or not Ms. Minaj’s request to be “pointed to the best ass eater” was figurative or literal. (The general consensus will drift toward the latter.)
  • All movie plots will be decided by Twitter users. A director will just tweet, “What will I make next?” And then a year later he’ll come out with a movie about a bicurious dwarf in leather pants who rides a unicorn and plays the ukulele while karate chopping dragons made out of candy in an alternate dimension where Kanye West rules supreme. Further, all movies will be named, “Movie McMovieface.”
  • All potential crime victims will, by law, be allowed to shout “safe space!” and then it shall be deemed illegal for all ill intentioned persons to come within a ten foot radius around the person.  Many a harrowing legal battle will ensue in which prosecutors and defense attorneys debate whether or not a victim actually yelled “safe space.”
  • The presidency will remain vacant after 2024 as by then there will literally be no one without a single embarrassing photo preserved online to be utilized by the opposition.
  • Google and Amazon will both declare themselves masters of the universe.  The ensuing civil war will last for countless millennia.
  • The world will watch in awe when a man lands on Mars. The brave astronaut will immediately broadcast back the inspiring words, “It kinda sucks here. Not really sure it was worth all the effort. Oh well. You live and you learn, am I right?”
  • Due to ever rising tuition costs, high school graduates will opt to sit around in the basement of the kid with the least uptight parents and play drinking games for three years.  They will then enter a community college program in which they learn all the basic shit they need to know in one year.
  • Under the “Blow Less Smoke Up the Kids’ Asses Initiative of 2030” teachers will be required to stop inspiring kids to reach for the stars seeing as how jobs will be in incredibly short supply by then.  “Good Job” will be replaced with “This A+ Will Get You Nowhere So You Might As Well Have Goofed Off Last Night” and “Try Harder Next Time” will become “As We Speak Companies Are Making Robots That Can Literally Do Anything You Can Do Only Faster, Better, and Cheaper, so Spark a Spliff and Stop Giving a Shit Already.”
  • By 2100, every movie and television show will have been rebooted three times. Entertainment industry analysts will lament the non-stop slew of “rebooted reboot reboots.”  “Is there not a single original story out there that can be retold in triplicate?” a notorious critic will inquire.
  • Bookshelf Q. Battler will freeze his brain so he can be brought back to life as a cyborg in a distant future, during which time his website will still only attract the attention of a mere 3.5 readers.
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Movie Review – 13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi (2016)

War. Guns. Terrorists.

Do I really have to call “SPOILERS” on a movie about an event thats been in the news for years?

Probably.  There’s a lot more than what the news covered.

BQB here with a review of 13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi.

Hello 3.5 readers.

I’m just going to say it. I almost thought about not writing this review because I do my best to keep this blog non-political.  This blog is about books, writing, and my adventures as a magic bookshelf caretaker forced to launch a writing career in order to satisfy the whims of a maniacal alien overlord known as the Mighty Potentate.

All hail the Mighty Potentate.

But – it is a movie.  And it is a pretty good one.  And I do write movie reviews soo…here it goes.

However, before I begin, please remember that whether you’re a Democrat, or a Republican, or a member of some other party, please know that I still want you to like me and more importantly, I want you to spend lots and lots of money on the books I one day hope to put out whenever I get around to writing them.

Where to start?  The whole situation was a mess. After Qadaffi, the country’s dictator, was ousted, Libya descended into chaos (well, much more chaos than usual) with rival gangs vying for territory and control.

There were two U.S. locations in Benghazi involved – a State Department compound and a CIA site.

It became pretty clear that Libya was becoming so dangerous that U.S. personnel needed to either leave or more security forces had to be added.

Neither happened.  Instead, the government sent Ambassador Chris Stevens, a high level target for terrorists, to stay at the State Department compound.  According to the film, the U.S. government felt that the time was ripe for diplomacy with Libya (they’ll like us because we helped get rid of Qadaffi!) and that additional security would send an unfriendly message to the Libyans (because, you know, Libya is world renowned for its hospitality.)

Long story short, a group of CIA security contractors (John Krakinski from the Office and that guy who plays Pornstache on Orange is the New Black were the only actors I recognized) travel to the ambassador’s residence (when it is under attack) in an attempt to save Stevens.

SPOILER ALERT FOR PEOPLE WHO DON’T READ NEWSPAPERS OR WATCH CNN – Stevens dies when the ambassador’s residence is set on fire.  The CIA contractors manage to save Stevens’ security detail.

The group returns to the CIA location and whammo the terrorists start attacking there. The contractors spend a long ass night fighting off wave after wave of attackers.  Perhaps I didn’t pay as much attention to the press coverage as I should have, but I never realized just how intense and long that battle was, so props to the security forces for fending off the bad guys for so long.

By the end of it all the deceased included:

Ambassador Chris Stevens

Information Officer Sean Smith

CIA Operatives Glenn Doherty and Tyrone Woods

From the movie, its clear that there were many acts of bravery, these dudes taking on all kinds of heat from all sides all night and its something I certainly couldn’t have done.

Now here comes the hard part.

It is clear that were a lot of bad decision made by the powers that be.  And something I never realized from the news coverage – that CIA location had a whole helluvalot of people working there without much security.

A small security force fended off a much larger terrorist attack and saved the day but holy crap, had they not done so a lot of people would have been slaughtered.  Way too many people being protected by too few.

They should have either been allowed to clear out or been provided with additional manpower.  More help should have arrived sooner when the attack began.  Throughout the movie, theres help nearby that can be deployed, but all kinds of ridiculous, bureaucratic nonsense intervenes.

Is this opinion I’m about to say popular? Probably not.  But here it goes.  You, the public, were totally lied too.  Bad decision making let this whole mess happen and then the government tried to cover it up with some nonsense that it was a spontaneous protest over an anti-Islamic video that got out of control and could never have been predicted.

Sigh.  Yeah.  Protestors don’t have mortars.  Protestors don’t have training.  Protestors aren’t heavily armed with AKs and so on.

The government really should have just been straight with people and been like, “Yup.  We screwed up.  Here’s what we did wrong and here’s what we’ll do so it doesn’t happen again.”

Another issue the film raises that we didn’t hear much about in the media – a number of good Libyans did come to the security team’s aid.  Some fought along side with them in the attempt to rescue the ambassador.  Others provided them with information “i.e. don’t go that way there’s bad guys over there, etc.”  A Libyan interpreter who could have left at the start sticks with the team till the end.

And after the attack, over a hundred thousand Libyans held a demonstration to state they did not support the attack.

Soo…ok…the Middle East is a place of great turmoil, but it should be remembered that not everyone there is a total dick.

As for the election…Hilary did get up and make the statement, “What difference does it make?” i.e. was it an attack or was it a protest over videos.  I’m sorry.  It does make a difference. Government needs to be honest with people.

Does that mean Trump is any better?  No.  I have misgivings about a candidate who feels “schlonged” is acceptable vocabulary for the leader of the free world.

To break my non-political rule just this once, this may be the  election where South Park’s admonition that all elections come down between the choice between a douche or a turd sandwich is truer than ever.

Hell, it might be the first election where I don’t even vote.

But…you should vote for whoever you want and still feel welcome in my 3.5 readers club. And more importantly, you should a) not hate me for briefly dipping a toe into political waters for purposes of a movie review and b) more, more importantly, buy lots of copies of my future books that have yet to be written.

Finally, one issue the movie points out to take away from all of this.  There’s a tendency in the media to treat wartime security contracts like crap, like they’re evil cutthroat mercenaries or something but its obvious that they also do a lot of good and in this case, prevented a lot of people from being killed.

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Zombie Trump Reviews the Walking Dead – Recap of Last Season

BQB EDITORIAL NOTE:  It has come to my attention that Dr. Hugo Von Science recently attended one of Presidential Candidate Donald Trump’s campaign events, stole a cup the billionaire drank out of, and successfully spliced The Donald’s DNA with that of a zombie held in captivity.

The result?  ZOMBIE TRUMP.  I thought about reporting this to the authorities but decided it would be fun to just let him review The Walking Dead when the new season begins.

Here, Zombie Trump will catch you up on where the series left off at the end of last season.

Hello 3.5 losers.

First of all, I want to say that being on this goofball website is completely beneath me.  Bookshelf Q. Battler, that nerdy dope, should get down on his hands and knees and thank me for giving his pathetic excuse for a website the highest ratings boost it will ever see.

Zombie Trump

Zombie Trump

3.5 readers?  I’ll have this joint swinging with 3.5 million readers when I’m done with it.  And will that clown appreciate it?  I doubt it.  I’d ask for a little nibble on BQB’s brain as compensation but I doubt he has one.

So let’s talk about those survivors from last season.  Apparently, I’m obligated to warn you that there are SPOILERS ahead, because for some reason, people get really whiney when their shows are spoiled.

I don’t know why you’re wasting your time with lame zombie shows anyway when you should be checking out the luxurious Zombie Trump Taj Mahal.  Try your luck at the craps table, then get eaten and turned into literal zombie crap.  Oh and the buffet is all you can eat for $9.99 so really, there’s not a better deal around.

Where’d we leave off?

RICK GRIMES

Look, I know a lot of ladies think he’s hot and handsome but I’m telling you, this guy is a total loser.  If you ask me, I’d rather have a Sheriff that can actually bring the bad guys in, not crash his car while in pursuit and end up in a coma during the zombie outbreak when he’s needed the most.

Seriously, how am I supposed to trust this guy to lead when he couldn’t even keep his best friend Shane from slipping his wife the old one eyed salamander?

Last time we saw Rick, he was abusing his authority as a newly appointed Sheriff in the settlement at Alexandria.  Beat a guy up because he wanted to get hot and heavy with his wife.  Making plans to take the community over if things don’t go his way.  Classy?  I don’t think so.

Sorry Rick.  I wouldn’t hire you to guard the Zombie Trump Golf Course.  Eighteen links of pure zombie fun.

CAROL

Yeesh!  Look at that face!  Is that the face of a woman that you want to see in your zombie apocalypse survivor’s group?  I don’t think so.

Oh what?  What?  I was just talking about her record.  She’s actually a beautiful woman.

Although if we’re getting into it, a little bit of blonde hair dye wouldn’t hurt her.  Make her up to look like my first wife, Zombie Ivana, or my second wife, Zombie Marla Maples.

But let’s talk about this gal’s record.  Killing a kid?  Threatening to kill another kid?

Sure she’s able to lull her enemies into a false sense of security by fooling them into thinking she’s just a dowdy old homemaker only to strike when they least expect it, but you know what I’d tell her if she worked at the Zombie Trump Casino Day Care Center?

YOU’RE FIRED.

DARYL

Who is this loser running around on a motorcycle with a crossbow like he’s some kind of hillbilly heart throb?  Look Jethro, a shave and a haircut never hurt anyone.  I’ll give you the number of my personal stylist.  She’s does great work.  Just look at me.

GLENN

Glenn, we gave you one simple task.  Keep that Noah kid alive.  You failed.  I know you tried your best but best doesn’t cut it.  Sorry, I know this is harsh, but as punishment, I’ve banned you from all Zombie Trump resorts and associated properties.

THE GOVERNOR

Not gonna lie.  This man had a lot of moxie.  I was sorry to see him go.  He was a real take charge kind of guy.  Even with one eye he was able to see two or three moves ahead.  Best character on the entire show.

He built a wall around his town and if you ask me, building a wall is an idea my fellow zombies and I should try.

My fellow zombies, for far too long we’ve suffered at the hands of these lousy human survivors.  We build up our zombie communities and in they come, putting arrows in our brains, taking our zombie jobs.  They’re rapists, murderers, and SOME of them, I assume, are good people, but we just can’t allow the influx of doomsday preppers, hillbillies, and other assorted human survivors to invade our territory any longer.

So I propose that we build an enormous wall to keep the zompoc survivors out.

Elect me as President of All Zombies and I assure you on my first day in office, not only will I build a giant wall around all zombies, but I’ll make those loser humans pay for it.

BQB, you’re welcome.  You didn’t even deserve an appearance from me on your stupid blog but you got one anyway.

3.5 readers, I don’t know why you’re wasting your time on this nonsense, but let me remind you, I’m going to be reviewing the next season of The Walking Dead right here on the Bookshelf Battle Blog and I will tell you this:

IT’S GOING TO BE HUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGE!

I’d eat all 3.5 of your brains but I’d probably go hungry.  Mic drop.  Zombie Trump out.

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