Tag Archives: news

Jun 19 2016
4 Comments
Stop Sucking With Vinny Baggadouchio

Stop Sucking with Vinny Baggadouchio – Why Does the World Suck?

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World Renowned Motivational Speaker, Anti-Suck Book Author and Bookshelf Battle Blog Columnist, Vinny Baggadouchio

 

I’m Vinny Baggadouchio and if sucking is the disease, then I’m the cure.

If you’ve come down with a bad case of suck, then pick up one of my anti-suck books today:

Be the Not Sucking Person You Were Meant to Be

101 Ways Suckiness Creeps Into Your Life

Stop Sucking This Instant

Goodbye, Suck. Hello Not-Sucking.

Don’t Stop Sucking Tomorrow. Stop Sucking Today!

Why Do Sucky Things Happen to Non-Sucking People?

Drop That Suck!

Don’t Want to Suck? You’re In Luck!

The news sure has sucked lately, hasn’t it 3.5 readers?

In fact, a whole lot of suckage has happened in Orlando, which is surprising, because you’d think between the great weather, cartoon mouse park, the wannabe cartoon mouse park, that park where they make whales do tricks, all the beaches filled with scantily clad women and the ability to buy oranges anywhere every two minutes, it  all blends into a very not-sucky place.

But so much tragedy struck in the course of a few days.  A budding singer was shot dead. 50 gay people were killed in a night club. Another 50 wounded.

Plus a kid got eaten by a damn alligator.

So much suck.  So, so much suck.

3.5 readers, I have counseled world leaders and useless peons such as yourselves through very dark times and inevitably, someone always poses the following question to me:

Why does the world suck?

What a loaded question. I’m tempted to say that question sucks but in as much as it gets the mental gears turning, it does not suck at all.

Before I reach an answer, I must first back track to another inquiry:

Does the world, in fact, suck?

You’ll notice the subtle difference between the two questions.

The first one presupposes a sucky world and seeks knowledge as to why it does suck.

The second does not automatically assume a sucky world but rather inquires whether or not it sucks.

“Does the world suck?”

It all boils down to a matter of perspective. What sucks to one does not suck to another.

Suck is truly in the eye of the beholder, or perhaps I should say, in the eye of the be-sucker.

I’m paid big bucks to stop the sucks. Thus, life seems pretty good to me. The world is my oyster.  And it tastes like it doesn’t suck.

But for the many, many suckers out there, life sucks and by extension, they view the world as a sucky place.

Life is precious. We are all given a short, finite supply of time to not suck in this world.  Everyone should do their best to not suck.

Yet, many aren’t able to escape the feeling that their lives suck and therefore by extension the world sucks.

The world’s supply of suck ebbs and flows. Sometimes its suck cup runneth over. Other times it putters along at an excellent, suck free pace.

Overall, all non-suckers must not taking their suck-less lives for granted. They must cherish them and do what they can to guide suckers by the hand and walk with them hand in hand down the road to non-suckitude.

Many suckers are out there wallowing in their own suck filth, waiting for a kind non-sucker to show them the way to not-sucking.

Meanwhile, many suckers are so stuck in their sucky ways that try as they might, no one is able to snap them out of this suck spirals.

As much as it sucks to admit it, even I, a world renowned anti-suck expert, have met a few suckers who I wasn’t able to rehabilitate and turn into productive non-sucking members of society.

On top of all that, many suckers become suckers, not due to any sucky things they did per se, but because they are trapped in environments, situations, or circumstances that suck.

Non-suckers will always have a duty to work towards desuckifying that which sucks up life for so many sucky people.

So does the world suck?  It all really depends on your perspective.

To get to the original question – “Why Does the World Suck?”

That, too, is a question with so many answers.

It’s never easy to go through sucky times.

And in the wake of sucky tragedies, it’s only human nature to want to know what can be done to keep all the suck from sucking up people’s lives again.

To answer the question, I could go on for days.

I could talk about:

  • The history of the world and more specifically, how so many sucky activities that transpired in the past have led to a sucky world today.
  • The need for the present day world to come to terms with its sucky past and more importantly, learn to find a way to embrace a suck free future.
  • The sucky political climate where suck-a-ticians from both sides retreat to their own corners and suck rather than engage one another in suck-free dialogue on how to rid the world of suckage.
  • The downward suck-conomy, in which it has become so difficult for sucky people to find jobs that will turn them into productive non-suckers, and the ensuing despair that leads non-suckers down the path to suckitude.
  • The need for parents to embrace suck free lifestyles and become positive role models to thus inspire the next generation to not be suckers.
  • The necessity for suck free and less sucky parts of the world to continue their quest for non-suckitude and the corresponding need for regions of the world that suck to work towards desuckifying themselves or at the very least, to not export ideas that suck to not-sucking parts of the world, thus descending the entire world into suckage.
  • The adoption of a “Don’t suck and let suck motto.” Non-suckers can’t force suckers to become non-suckers over night. Rather, suckers need to learn how to not suck by making mistakes on their own and eventually reaching the conclusion that they must change their ways and not suck. Only then can non-suckers make a difference and lend a helping, non-sucking hand.
  • Until that happens, suckers and non-suckers alike must learn to live together and be happy, each side agreeing to enjoy the goods, services and opportunities of the modern world without trying to foist their believes vis a vis sucking or not-sucking upon one another.

I could write a book on each of those points (wait a minute, I have!) but suffice to say, I believe the world itself does not suck.

The world is water and trees and land and so on. At its core, it does not suck. It is the things that sucky people do that make it suck.

To non-suckers, the world does not suck.  To suckers, it does.

What can be done to rectify the situation?

Non-suckers must continue to embrace their suck free parts of the world.  Help those who shout, “I don’t want to suck anymore! Teach me how!”

Suckers must keep their suck to themselves and not export it to suck free parts.

And while it’s never a fun concept to talk about, non-suckers must be vigilant and take the necessary security measures to keep suckage from spilling over into their not-sucking areas.

Keep moving forward. Keep not-sucking. Be an inspiration to all those who suck yet aspire to not-suck.

Thanks for your time, non-suckers and suckers alike.

Remember, buy my anti-suck books. They’re available at bookstores that don’t suck.

And if you want to know when my latest anti-suck column has been posted, be sure to follow BQB on twitter – @bookshelfbattle

 

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Jun 17 2016
10 Comments
Tomfoolery

And Now a Public Service Announcement from Bookshelf Q. Battler on Facebook Postings

Hi 3.5 Readers.

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BQB here.

Tough times we’re living in aren’t we?

The Freedom Loving Western World is under attack.  Gay people can’t go to clubs without being shot at by terrorists.  Kids can’t go to Disney World without being eaten by alligators.

I swear if I wake up tomorrow and learn that someone kicked the Easter Bunny in the balls or stole a leprechaun’s pot of gold and didn’t even leave him enough to rent an Uber to get home, I’m just going to stay in bed and eat cookies and pie all weekend in a hopeless state of sadness.

Lots of shit going on. Lots of shit.

You know kids, when I was a young lad opinions were expressed in a much different manner.

Usually, learned men and women, knowledgable experts on particular topics, would appear on talk shows, debate one another, listen to what each other had to say and agree to disagree.

Sure, they were at times mean about it.  Pettiness isn’t new to politics. It’s been around.

But by and large you go the impression that some of these TV pundits probably got together afterwards for tacos or whatever.

Times, they are a-changing.

Thanks to the wondrous Internet, everyone has an opinion, and everyone can express it despite a lack of qualifications or credentials or what have you.

And if your Facebook feed is anything like mine lately, its burning up with a lot of tomfoolery.

Remember, this blog isn’t political, because I have often said, I want all people of all different views to buy the book I have not yet finished and make me rich.

Really, the important part is where I get rich.

At any rate, nothing in this post is directed at anyone or side in particular, but in general, no matter what side of the debate you are on, here are some things to keep in mind in order to keep it civil.

#1 – Unless the person who posted a comment that offended you holds some type of public office or an otherwise influential position, their post is unlikely to have much impact on the issue, so you need not view it as a virtual grenade to throw yourself on at all costs.

EXAMPLE:

POSTER: “I think that…”

YOU:  Lies! The study of So and So University, completed in 2010 by Professor So and So on yadda yadda yadda….

Seriously, just stop being that shit head who spends 19 hours writing a reply to your Cousin Fred that you see once a year on Thanksgiving. Fred is a Goddamn part-time night janitor at the Arby’s off highway exit 7.

World leaders are not going to read Cousin Fred’s post and be like, “Holy shit! We never thought about it THAT way! Thanks Fred! You the man! We’re going to get on that right now!”

Just let Fred have his opinion and move on.  Keep in mind, Cousin Fred has probably held his tongue many times and moved on after reading some of the mindless bullshit you post.

#2 – If this person is one of your Facebook friends, chances are he/she is important to you in some capacity. Treat them as such.

We’ll just keep picking on Cousin Fred…

COUSIN FRED: “I believe that the treaty of such and such calls for…”

YOU (RIGHT WAY): Either – I respect your opinion Fred or I disagree Fred or just don’t respond.

YOU (WRONG WAY): F&*K you! Someone disagreed with me and now my life is over! I must retreat into my safe space over this micro-agressien! You have ruined my life!  Stick your head in the toilet and flush it a thousand times on your hideous face you atrocious, godawful man!!!

Oh and see you at Thanksgiving.

#3 – Stop comparing people to Hitler.  Seriously. I don’t care what your ideology is. No one is worse than Hitler. That’s why he was Hitler.  

Because I highly doubt that you are Facebook friends with someone who also invaded Poland, then tore ass through the rest of Europe, left England as the last man standing in what appeared to be the impending death of European democracy, then also put millions of Jewish people into camps and starved them and enslaved them and gassed them and killed them and so on, then stop calling them Hitler.

In my opinion, it’s offensive to people who were actual victims of Hitler, from the people who were rounded up and killed due to his orders, to the soldiers who had to put their lives on hold and fight his army and even died in the process.

ANALYIS:

COUSIN FRED: “Obviously, the right thing to do in this situation is to….”

“SHOULD YOU TELL COUSIN FRED THAT HE IS WORSE THAN HITLER?” – A RUBRIC

QUESTION TO ASK YOURSELF – Did Cousin Fred scheme and connive his way into the position of German Chancellor in the 1930’s and then proceed to delve humanity deep into its darkest hour?

IF YES – Then feel free to tell Cousin Fred is worse than Hitler.

IF NO – Then don’t be a dick and don’t tell your Cousin that he’s worse than Hitler. He’s the son of your Mom or Dad’s sibling for f%&k’s sake.

You might need him to donate a kidney or give you a ride or help you move a couch one day only to find yourself stuck on the side of the road with only one lousy kidney and a couch too big to move by yourself all because you couldn’t help yourself from referring to your beloved family member as Hitler.

#4 – Stipulate to reasonable, agreed upon facts. Don’t ask for proof of everything and especially if you know a fact is true. Don’t ask for proof anyway just to be a dick.

COUSIN FRED: “The sky is blue….

YOU: Post a link to an article that provides categorical proof that the sky is blue. Do it. Do it now. You’re taking too long. You can’t find one, can you? Ha! F%*king liar the sky is NOT BLUE AND IT NEVER WAS!

COUSIN FRED: “…and the grass is green…”

YOU: Is it though? Is it really? Have you ever considered that what you see as green and what I see as green might be two completely different colors? Maybe when I see something and think it is green and when you see it and you think it is green but if I could see what you are seeing through my eyes it would appear pink to me and if you could see it through my eyes it would appear purple to you?

COUSIN FRED: “…and the other day Congress passed a bill that…”

YOU: I’m going to need more information on this institution you refer to as “Congress.” Please post a link to some information on what Congress is and how it works. You’re not a scholar of Congressional history, are you? I find it difficult to believe that you hold the necessary qualifications to prove to me that Congress actually exists and that it isn’t some existential hullabaloo that you invented in your mind.

NOTE: Seriously dude. He’s your f%$king cousin. Stop filibustering and/or asking him to post proof of stuff you’re both fully aware of and stop treating the whole discussion like it’s an under the hot lights interrogation. You’re just two asshats on Facebook and in the grand scheme of things, nothing that either of you say ever matters.

#5 – Don’t get personal.

COUSIN FRED: “Senator So and So appeared so stupid when he…

YOU (Right way): I disagree. I think Senator So and So made a good argument.

YOU (Wrong way): He didn’t look anymore stupid than you did when your wife cheated on you with her yoga instructor and she gave you the bill for her yoga instruction so technically you were paying a dude to come into your house while you were at work and bang your wife you giant dumbass.

I mean, yeah, I guess you won the argument…but was it worth it? Cousin Fred will most likely never speak to you again.

Cousin Fred is a human being. He has thoughts and feelings. Let him express them without throwing the yoga instructor he inadvertently paid to bang his wife in his face.

CONCLUSIONS

Those are the top five I can think of. All in all, these are trying times and we all want to get what we are thinking off our chest but, you know…if these people are your friends and/or family, you might want to try to do it in a way in which they want to stick around because let’s be honest, you’re no picnic either.

(That’s directed at other people. You’re all picnics in my book, 3.5 readers.)

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Jun 16 2016
3 Comments
Daily Discussion with BQB

I Keep Forgetting to Post My Daily Discussions

But alas the news is too sad to discuss anyway.

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Jun 15 2016
1 Comment
Daily Discussion with BQB

I Failed Again

Sorry. I did not post a daily discussion with BQB yesterday.

I hate to admit it but I find myself preoccupied with all the news on TV. I should probably turn it off as it isn’t going to get better anytime soon.

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Jun 13 2016
2 Comments
Daily Discussion with BQB

Daily Discussion With BQB – Be Excellent to Each Other

This isn’t a political blog, yet at times like these, it’s difficult not to say something.

I believe the Western world, and the United States in particular, is the best because you have so many different groups of people and the people, at least those in the mainstream, realize everyone can be different, work towards common goals and still disagree on many aspects of life but continue to live near one another.

Orlando, Florida is representative of that.

You’ve got a bustling night club scene where all kinds of partying happens.

Minutes away you’ve got a “world” dedicated to providing wholesome entertainment involving a cartoon mouse.

The cartoon mouse lovers don’t protest the night clubs en masse.  The night club partiers don’t try to put a rave hat on Mickey Mouse (as funny as that would be.)

You probably even have a lot of people who go back and forth between both worlds. Cartoon mouse lovers feel the need to party sometimes. Party people sometimes feel the need to pretend that a cartoon mouse loves them.

Both worlds exist within the same city. They have for years and neither world has felt the need to stop the other in order to continue to exist.

This is all just the rantings of a nerd I suppose.

What I’m getting at is the West works when we all get up, go about our daily lives, work together on our common interests, then at the end of the day, stay out of one another’s personal lives.

It’s not perfect and it doesn’t always work out, but it’s a better system than other parts of the world where you must do exactly as the powers the be say or else.

I don’t know the answer to any of this madness.

But I just hope people don’t take their freedom here for granted.

Every time you type on your blog, keep in mind there are places in the world where blogging is either outright banned or so hazardous as to make it not worth doing.

And that’s even if you just write about zombies and yetis and magic bookshelves.

Be kind to each other, 3.5 readers.

As Bill and Ted once said, “Be excellent to each other.”

Millennials, Bill and Ted were these California dudes who…nope.  Never mind. Google it.

What say you, 3.5 readers?

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Jun 12 2016
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Daily Discussion with BQB

Daily Discussion with BQB – What’s Up With Orlando?

Uh…hey Orlando, I thought you were the happiest place on Earth.

Eh…seems odd to not say anything about it though all of the usual “I’m offering my prayers” and so on seems nauseating.

What say you, 3.5 readers?

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Jun 11 2016
4 Comments
Daily Discussion with BQB

Daily Discussion With BQB – Christina Grimmie

Good morning 3.5 readers.

Some sad news today. A 22 year old singer from The Voice, Christina Grimmie, was shot and killed after a concert in Orlando, Florida last night.

I’m kind of an old fuddy duddy and I don’t watch shows like the Voice so I’d never heard of her before but it sounds like many of you had.

As I read the stories, it becomes increasingly sad. She got her start on YouTube, utilized social media to get her music out there to the world, really took advantage of what technology allows today for budding young creative people.

Imagine being young and on top of the world, plus how happy all her family and friends around her must of been and then that to happen out of nowhere.

 

Obviously the guy was crazy. I was going to go on a rant about why crazy people do what they do but I will await the news to report the details of the specific kind of crazy that the guy was.

Generally speaking, while suicide isn’t the answer and in a perfect world, the mentally unstable would get mental help before doing something like this, I don’t understand why crazy people who get to this low point often feel the need to take someone with them rather than just go out alone.

Again, I don’t want to speculate further. My assumption is he must have been some kind of obsessed fan but we’ll probably find out more as the story develops.

What say you, 3.5 readers?

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Jun 04 2016
2 Comments
You Can't Argue with Science

You Can’t Argue With Science – Zika Virus Might Be Spread Via Oral Sex

BQB EDITORIAL NOTE: Seeing as how his mind contains a wealth of scientific information that can be shared with my 3.5 readers, I have decided to let bygones be bygones and reinstate Dr. Hugo Von Science as a Bookshelf Battle columnist.

I’m nothing if not a turner of the other cheek.

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Dr. Hugo Returns!

Guten tag, Herr 3.5 Readers!

Dr. Hugo Von Science here, finally out of zie dog house with mein old student Bookshelf Q. Battler and ready to educate you once again with mein column, You Can’t Argue With Science!

You really can’t, can you 3.5 readers? A meteor will always have the upper hand no matter what you do.

Perhaps you might remember me from one of mein many fantastic inventions:

  • The Taco-fier – Save the world by turning trash into tacos.  Yummy and delicious tacos? Nein. It just makes taco shells filled with trash. However, I’m confident that I will be able to turn used syringes and condoms into delicious taco meat by 2035. So many cows will be saved.
  • Hat in a Can – Did you forget your hat today? Just spray one on your stupid head. Mold it to whatever kind of hat you want. Spray yourself a derby, a bowler, or a fedora. The government demands I notify you that spray on hats have caused 999 out of 1,000 lab rats to die horrible deaths involving intense seizures and bowel eruptions but please. You’re a human. You’re much stronger than a stupid mouse.
  • Ninja Socks – Put them on your feet and you will be able to perform death defying ninja like kicks! However, you’ll inevitably lose one in the washing machine and then if you only wear one of them you will only be able to kick like a Rockette, which, though impressive, is not as awesome as kicking like a ninja. Don’t split up your ninja socks. They work best as a set.

Undt last but not least…

  • Das Sun Blocker 3000 – Ha ha.  Ha ha….Muah ha ha! Turn over the world’s riches to me or else mein latest invention will block out the sun for 3,000 years! The world will turn into a frozen wasteland and no one will ever wear a swimsuit ever again! (Let’s be honest many of you shouldn’t have been wearing one to begin with and…woopsie! I wasn’t supposed to mention this doohickey just yet.)

Anyhoodles, das Zika virus!

Those pesky little mosquitos have really been wreaking havoc across Brazil, threatening to even ruin the upcoming Olympic Games.

Zika virus can even cause microcephaly which, long story short, can cause women to give birth to babies with small, deformed heads.

Undt now, das news outlets are reporting that scientists believe the virus may even be transmitted through the oral sexenheisen.

To prove that Bookshelf Q. Battler and I have buried das hatchet and set our differences aside, I shall now relay all the jokes that BQB told me when he heard this discovery:

  • Who would blow a mosquito?
  • Great, yet another excuse for women to avoid polishing the pickle.
  • A little head could lead to a baby with a little head. (What? Too soon? Oh stop it and get a sense of humor.)

Finally, 3.5 readers, scientists have even suggested that deep kissing could lead to the Zika virus.

So, as if you all didn’t have enough to worry about, watch out for those mosquitos and also, what you’re putting in your pie hole, you terrible, terrible perverts.

Dr. Hugo Von Science is the Bookshelf Battle Blog’s Science Correspondent, as well as an Esteemed Professor of Science at the Advanced Science Institute of Science University. Additionally, he may or may not be a mad scientist attempting to conquer the world through the power of science in his spare time.

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Jun 03 2016
5 Comments
Nerdstradamus

The Astounding Nerdstradamus – The Jello Wrestling Election, the Google/Amazon War for the Universe, the Blow Less Smoke Up Kids’ Asses Initiative

And now, from Bookshelf Q. Battler Headquarters in Fabulous East Randomtown, the Astounding Nerdstradamus shares his confounding prognostications of the future of nerd kind…

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Step forward, nerds, and do not be afraid for I, the Astounding Nerdstradamus do now make my predictions known:

  • The Election of 2016 shall be decided not at the ballot box but in a jello wrestling pit. Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton shall forego the usual democratic process and opt instead to get naked, oil up, and wrassle one another in a giant tub of orange gelatin. The match will be epic and though there will be many disgusting sights and angles that viewers will never be able to remove from their memories, the event itself will draw the highest viewership in the history of television.
  • Nicki Minaj will be named Poet Laureate of the United States. In her acceptance speech, she will recite her most recent lines from the smash hit Dance (A$$) in which women with luxurious asses are, in fact, urged to dance. Not only will the crowd be shocked, but literary scholars will, for centuries thereafter, debate whether or not Ms. Minaj’s request to be “pointed to the best ass eater” was figurative or literal. (The general consensus will drift toward the latter.)
  • All movie plots will be decided by Twitter users. A director will just tweet, “What will I make next?” And then a year later he’ll come out with a movie about a bicurious dwarf in leather pants who rides a unicorn and plays the ukulele while karate chopping dragons made out of candy in an alternate dimension where Kanye West rules supreme. Further, all movies will be named, “Movie McMovieface.”
  • All potential crime victims will, by law, be allowed to shout “safe space!” and then it shall be deemed illegal for all ill intentioned persons to come within a ten foot radius around the person.  Many a harrowing legal battle will ensue in which prosecutors and defense attorneys debate whether or not a victim actually yelled “safe space.”
  • The presidency will remain vacant after 2024 as by then there will literally be no one without a single embarrassing photo preserved online to be utilized by the opposition.
  • Google and Amazon will both declare themselves masters of the universe.  The ensuing civil war will last for countless millennia.
  • The world will watch in awe when a man lands on Mars. The brave astronaut will immediately broadcast back the inspiring words, “It kinda sucks here. Not really sure it was worth all the effort. Oh well. You live and you learn, am I right?”
  • Due to ever rising tuition costs, high school graduates will opt to sit around in the basement of the kid with the least uptight parents and play drinking games for three years.  They will then enter a community college program in which they learn all the basic shit they need to know in one year.
  • Under the “Blow Less Smoke Up the Kids’ Asses Initiative of 2030” teachers will be required to stop inspiring kids to reach for the stars seeing as how jobs will be in incredibly short supply by then.  “Good Job” will be replaced with “This A+ Will Get You Nowhere So You Might As Well Have Goofed Off Last Night” and “Try Harder Next Time” will become “As We Speak Companies Are Making Robots That Can Literally Do Anything You Can Do Only Faster, Better, and Cheaper, so Spark a Spliff and Stop Giving a Shit Already.”
  • By 2100, every movie and television show will have been rebooted three times. Entertainment industry analysts will lament the non-stop slew of “rebooted reboot reboots.”  “Is there not a single original story out there that can be retold in triplicate?” a notorious critic will inquire.
  • Bookshelf Q. Battler will freeze his brain so he can be brought back to life as a cyborg in a distant future, during which time his website will still only attract the attention of a mere 3.5 readers.
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May 31 2016
8 Comments
Daily Discussion with BQB

Daily Discussion with BQB – Should the Cincinnati Zoo Have Shot Harambe the Gorilla?

Good morning 3.5 Readers.

Are you all refreshed after the long Memorial Day Weekend?

It goes by too fast, doesn’t it?

Anyway, have you been following the news story about the Cincinnati Zoo?

If you haven’t heard about it, a four year old boy somehow managed to fall fifteen feet into the zoo’s “Gorilla World” exhibit.

Harambe, a seventeen year old gorilla, found the kid and at one point, grabbed him and rather violently dragged him through the water.

Zoo keepers had to act fast and decided to shoot the gorilla dead.  They have explained that it was the only option.  They say a tranquilizer dart would not have acted fast enough and may have even angered the gorilla and caused him to become even more violent before it kicked in.

Faced with taking a chance that they could have somehow saved the boy without harming the gorilla or shooting the gorilla, they chose to shoot him.

A lot of people are complaining that the zoo didn’t do the right thing. There’s an online petition, a hashtag #gorillalivesmatter and the usual armchair quarterbacking.

Personally, I think the zoo had to do what it had to do. I don’t think anyone wanted to kill the gorilla.

And you can’t really blame Harambe because he’s a frigging gorilla.  Gorillas attack stuff. That’s what they do.

Some complainers point to a part of the video where it looked like he stands the boy up and looks like he wants to protect him.

I mean, maybe but maybe he was also thinking about the best way to crack the kid’s head open like a coconut.

Let’s be honest. Had the zoo not shot the gorilla and the gorilla had killed the kid, everyone, literally everyone, even the same people protesting the gorilla’s death, would be demanding to know why the zoo put a gorilla’s life over a boy’s.

Animal life over human life, you got to save the human.

I don’t want to immediately rush to judgment and start ragging on the family because I don’t know the full situation.

I suppose if there’s one lesson, it could be that zoos might review their exhibits and see if there are any holes that could be shored up, any little spaces where a little kid could conceivably squeeze through.

But at the same time, yeah, if you’re an adult, you’ve got to be keeping an eye on your kids.

I have no idea if the adults involved here weren’t paying attention and their kid wandered away, or maybe they were and the kid just got away from them, but I don’t know…people just need to be more careful, but at the same time zoos should review their exhibit security in light of the fact that we live in a world where literally on ne takes any responsibility for anything anymore.

RIP Harambe.

And kid, you’re 4 years old so I can’t blame you either. Hope you’re recovering well from the whole ordeal.

What say you, 3.5 readers?

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