PREVIOUSLY ON BOOKSHELF Q. BATTLER AND THE MEANING OF LIFE…
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AND NOW BOOKSHELF Q. BATTLER AND THE MEANING OF LIFE CONTINUES…
“She’s insane,” I said to the world’s greatest detective as he stepped out of my carry on bag and onto my tray table.
“Poppycock!” Holmes said. “She is a Video Game Rack Fighter! You are a Bookshelf Battler! You two were meant to be!”
Holmes suspects Vicky’s on the level, that she is, in fact, a Video Game Rack Fighter…
“I KNOW I am a Bookshelf Battler, but I only have her word that she’s a Video Game Rack Fighter,” I replied. “Carrying around beloved video game characters Carmine and Giuseppe in her purse? Please.”
“Might I remind you that you are carrying two of the fiction world’s foremost investigators in your carry on bag?” Holmes asked.
Watson popped out of my bag and started in on me.
“Mr. Bookshelf,” Watson said. “Your magical bookshelf is truly an awe inspiring mystery. But it never once occurred to you that there may be other enchanted media storage spaces out there?”
“Never crossed my mind,” I said.
“There’s only one way to solve this,” Holmes said as he leaped across the divide between my table and Vicky’s, then climbed into her open purse.
I looked over at Vicky. She was fast asleep. Her mouth was wide open, a little drop of drool pouring out the side. She was a light snorer. It was adorable. I had it bad.
“What are you doing?!” I asked.
“I shall simply locate the Sterotypical Italian Contractors and if they are real then Ms. Stratenhaus is telling the truth!”
“You can’t just go through her purse!” I said.
“Don’t worry!” Holmes said. “I am a detective!”
Holmes rumbled around inside the bag, then huffed and puffed as he struggled to pull out a very small, stiff and silent Carmine, only to drop him on the table in a haphazard manner.
“Careful Holmes!” Watson said. “You’ll give him a concussion!”
“You there!” Holmes said as he poked the tiny Carmine in the shoulder. “Borderline racist stereotype of an Italian contractor! Wake up, sir! You are among friends and no harm shall come of you!”
Carmine just laid there silently with a blank look on his face and a big smile. He wore his trademark overalls and ball cap. His face was mostly obscured by a big bushy beard.
“Are you deaf, man?” Holmes asked. “Wake up, I say!”
Watson jumped over to Vicky’s table, produced a tiny rubber mallet from his pocket, and lightly tapped Carmine’s knee with it. The most beloved video game character of all time refused to budge.
“Curious,” Watson said. “Either he’s quite adept at playing dead or he has terrible reflexes.”
“Put him back before she wakes up!” I said.
Holmes and Watson heaved Carmine back into Vicky’s bag, then returned to my tray table.
…BQB, on the other hand, opines that Vicky is one card short of a full deck. If he’s the only one with a magic media storage space, then Vicky must just be some kook who thinks her action figures are real…
“See?” I asked. “She talks to toys. She’s nuts.”
“Inconclusive!” Holmes said.
“How is that inconclusive?” I asked. “You whipped out Carmine and he didn’t move at all. He’s clearly just a toy.”
“We’ve all been examined by your Aunt hundreds of times,” Holmes said. “We remain perfectly still. You are the only human we’ve ever revealed our true natures to, and I’d imagine that Ms. Stratenhaus’ video game friends feel the same way towards her.”
“This is going to be a long flight,” I said.
“Precisely the reason why we should be watching Pootie Tang!”
Will BQB ever learn the meaning of life? Is Vicky really a video game rack fighter or is she nutsy cuckoo?
And will Holmes ever get to watch Pootie Tang?
Find out as BQB and the Meaning of Life continues…
Copyright (C) Bookshelf Q. Battler and the Meaning of Life 2015. All Rights Reserved.
Bookshelf Battle 