Oh that wacky Tyrion. Always getting himself into a pickle.
I’m enjoying the Varys/Tyrion road trip. Mormont says he’s taking Tyrion to see the Queen. Guess he doesn’t realize that’s where the imp was going anyway.
Arya’s tired of sweeping the floor, not realizing that’s some kind of “Mr. Miyagi” type stuff she has to do in order to become a faceless man.
The whole thing with Sansa marrying Ramsay is odd. (After all, Roose murdered Robb and Catelyn) We can only assume Littlefinger has something up his sleeve – somehow this will lead to the Boultons getting their comeuppance. However, are the Boultons so stupid that they’d invite a revenge seeker into their midst?
Seems obvious Cersei will have the High Sparrow appointed as High Septum, finally giving her the strong ally she needs.
Are you Team Khaleesi? Have you taken sides with Cersei? Are you still holding out hope that the Stark children will land a Hail Mary Pass?
Do you want to take up a sword for Stannis? Do you think that Jon Snow knows more than nothing?
Or are you keeping your fingers crossed that Hodor will become the ultimate dark horse candidate for the Iron Throne?
Stop by bookshelfbattle.com tonight after Game of Thrones S5 Ep 3 and chat with Bookshelf Q. Battler, Blogger-in-Chief. Toss out your observations, formulate your conspiracy theories, and what the hell, plug your blogs!
Yes, in the latest episode, Alien Jones (Lord Alien of House Jones) makes an appearance. He’s always answering questions on the Bookshelf Battle Blog and now he’s making a trip across the Narrow Sea to answer questions from the Khaleesi.
Greetings Earth Losers! Alien Jones here beaming copious amounts of knowledge through the Bookshelf Battle Compound and straight into all of your computerized devices which, though they may seem highly advanced to you rubes, are actually considered children’s toys in most other parts of space.
Who has a question? Come forward and declare your inquiry!
BQB: Hey AJ. It’s me. Bookshelf Q. Battler.
AJ: Oh Cripes. Not many takers this week?
BQB: Well, you’re the one who told me to stop bribing the winos. But seriously, I have a question – what is the best song ever produced?
AJ: Ahh, that is an excellent question but I could not possibly answer it. There are so many, where would I begin? Do I limit the field of inquiry to a particular genre? To a group of artists? To a select time period? To a single planet? The realm of possibility is so vast that…
BQB: I’ll save you the “trouble.” It’s Trouble by Iggy Azalea and Jennifer Hudson.
AJ: You can’t just say that a song is the best song ever produced, why that’s….
BQB: Sing it.
AJ: No I couldn’t possibly…
BQB: You know you want to.
AJ: It would be indignified…
BQB: Do it!
AJ: I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT YOU WERE BAD NEWS…FROM THE BAD BOY DEMEANOR AND THE TATTOOS….TAKE IT BOOKSHELF….
BQB: DON’T YOU COME IN THINKIN’ YOU BALLIN….it’s so great isn’t it?
AJ: It really is. I stand corrected. This song is the best song ever composed in the history of the space/time continuum.
BQB: Makes Beethoven look like a pile of crap.
AJ: We shall sing it during the commercials on Scandal night!
BQB: Damn straight. But first, you have a question…
Oh Daniel, I see what you did there. You worked the title of your book series into your question. Good show! For BQB’s 3.5 readers, I’ll note that your site provides a description of your latest installment, The Curse of Senapin. Here’s an excerpt:
“For the past six months, Aaron and Madi have been waiting to receive word from Yerowslii. But, when the King of Upitar is taken captive by Senapin forces, Aaron and Madi must flee their hiding place to rescue him. Although skeptical of it, they are accompanied by a disloyal ally, Ugine.”
– Daniel Waltz, The Water Travelers
Bookshelf Q. Battler and I can relate. On our joint missions to make the Earth a more intelligent place, we’re often accompanied by The Yeti and he’s the most disloyal and ugly ally I’ve ever seen.
I was quite impressed with your book trailer:
BQB: My socks were knocked right the hell off, AJ. At first I was like, “Twenty one seconds? That’s too short…”
AJ: Yes, but “Adventure finds those who are brave enough to take the first step.” That’s all you need to know. If I had emotions, I’d be moved.
Now, at first I thought Daniel was just trying to find out if I like to water ski or snorkel or something (which I do) but he’s actually referring to a power discussed in the book that allows travel between another world and Earth through water.
To answer your question, no. I don’t need to. I’m a duly designated officer of the Intergalactic Space Force and as such I have a vast array of ships at my disposal, so there’s no reason to get my pants wet. (When I bother to wear them. I usually don’t because, you know, I’ve got nothing down there so what’s the point?)
Your book is very prophetic though because certain species have been “water traveling” for years. In fact, there’s an entire planet where anchovies rule like kings, love like queens, laugh like jesters, and live like jacks. Then they water travel on over to Earth and end up as a dinner entrée topping. Don’t you feel bad now for putting them on your pizza?
BQB: I don’t think anyone put anchovies on their pizza anymore AJ. I think they just keep one can around for the random weirdo who wants a fishy pizza.
AJ: Sounds like something The Yeti would be into.
Thank you for your question Daniel. May your career as an author travel farther than the vast reaches of the cosmos.
Until next week, this is Alien Jones, signing off.
Alien Jones is the Intergalactic Correspondent for the Bookshelf Battle. Do you have a question for the Esteemed Brainy One? Submit it to Bookshelf Q. Battler via a tweet to @bookshelfbattle, leave it in the comment section on this site, or drop it off on the Bookshelf Battle Google + page. If AJ likes your question, he might promote your book, blog, or other project while providing his answer.
Submit your questions by midnight Friday each week for a chance to be featured in his Sunday column. And if you don’t like his response, just let him know and he’ll file it into the recycling bin of his monolithic super computer. No muss, no fuss, no problem.
EDIT: I wrote this awhile ago and for whatever reason, never got around to posting it. Community’s return to Yahoo is old news now but what the hell, let’s talk about it anyway.
I’m sure I can blame this on The Yeti somehow.
It’s the show by Geeks, for Geeks with so much Geek support that it refuses to die. And now it belongs to the Geekterverse.
Since its inception, the show has always had an uphill battle. If you’re a geek, nerd, dweeb, poindexter or an all around pop culture junkie, then this show is your bag. On the other hand, if you’re a square like most of America, most of the jokes probably fly right over your head.
With online displays of support, Internet nerds the world over managed to keep NBC from tanking it for years. In fact, this show has always been a pioneer of the streaming age with droves of fans who didn’t watch in its usual time slot but caught it later on their own terms.
And now it belongs to the web.
The show has suffered some losses in recent years. Chevy Chase/Pierce Hawthorne to a falling out with show runner Dan Harmon, Donald Glover/Troy to “to be on his own” and according to a letter to his fans, not to focus on his rap career as “Childish Gambino,” and now Yvette Brown/Shirley to take care of her Dad (awww).
With so many exits to the core group, the show isn’t quite the same, though the Season 6 premiere “Ladders” is as nerd-tastic as ever. Still, I hope no one else leaves. If Joel McHale/Jeff Winger takes a hike, that will probably be it.
The plot, for those who’ve never seen it? Community College attendees tend to run a wide gamut – the elderly looking for something to do (Pierce), the lawyer who faked a Bachelor’s and now needs to actually get one (Jeff), the single mom (Shirley), the dumb guy (Troy), the guy who is convinced he’s living in a television show (Abed), the classic overachiever (Annie), and the girl who’s always feeling the need to protest something (Britta).
As a show about college, it was destined to have a short shelf life from the start (after all, college only lasts four years). Yet, last year in season 5, there was a pretty adept “reboot” in which Jeff and the gang decide their lives are no better than when they first started college. Jeff stays on as a professor while the rest of the group decides to keep studying. If it is one thing this show is good at, it is reinventing itself.
“Shows change,” as is pointed out in an exchange between Abed and newcomer Frankie Dart (Paget Brewster). She’s hired by Dean Pelton to whip the school into shape, but as the group laments, Greendale’s lousiness is what makes it so charming.
Good luck on the web, Community. Your legion of nerds is behind you, but you’re going to have to come up with a helluva story to keep the gang at college past year 8 (and knowing you people, you probably will easily).
I’m not sure of the actual numbers, but I’m willing to bet if someone did a statistical analysis of the subject matter of all films produced between 1950-1980, “Western” would dominate its way straight to the top.
Gene Autry, Chuck Connors, James Arness, John Wayne – the baby boomers loved their cowboys.
Justified – Flashbacks – The Beginning – FX
When my parents grew up, became adults, and had me, they often had reruns of shows like Gunsmoke and The Rifleman on. Or they’d watch one of their favorite cowboy movies over and over.
In recent years, the Bravo Western channel made it possible for them to watch all of these movies and shows on a permanent loop. I’d visit and there’d they be – glued to the same Western movie they’d seen a hundred times before.
And literally, even if it was a different movie, the plot of most Westerns were the same. Bad guys did bad things. The townsfolk were too oppressed and downtrodden to care. They just took it and accepted it as a part of life. A righteous lawman blows into town and gives the bad guys a run for their money. The bad guys get angry and fight back. They get violent and make life even worse for the townsfolk. The people turn their wrath toward the lawman, blaming him for stirring up trouble. Can’t he just leave well enough alone and let the bad guys have their way? In the end, it all culminates in a final showdown where the lawman and a bad guy draw, and the lawman is inevitably faster with the iron.
I can’t count the number of times I made fun of my parents over this. “Do you guys realize you’re watching the same plot over and over again?”
They didn’t care. And today as an adult, I get it. The American West was literally society’s last chance for adventure, at least in this part of the world. “Go West, Young man” they’d say.
People would head out West to prospect for gold, claim land and farm or become ranchers. Some would start businesses. Of course, there was a hearty supply of ne’er-do-wells who took advantage of the lack of an established criminal justice system to cheat, steal, and rob everyone blind, thus providing the fodder for the cornucopia of cowboy flicks that my baby boomer parents held near and dear to their hearts.
All that Western stuff? It was still going on as of the early 1900’s. People from the 1950s, like my parents, probably knew an old timer or two who could recount stories they’d heard or read about. By the middle of the last century, the West was won, but the stories? They were finally being told thanks to the invention of movies and television and the kids of yesteryear couldn’t get enough. The West was a limitless supply of adventure.
Somewhere around 1980, that all became lame. Once in awhile, they still make the occasional good cowboy movie. Young Guns with Emilio Estevez and Charlie Sheen (before he went bonkers) was a favorite of mine.
Hollywood, we need to have a talk about your priorities.
Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 – S
I’m…I’m sorry everyone.
Let’s just put it all out there. I’m sorry I lost 2 hours of my precious life on this movie. You’re sorry you lost 5 minutes of yours reading this review. We’re all sorry. Let’s just try to get through this, ok?
For those who’ve never wasted their lives, Paul Blart is a mall cop played by Kevin James. He takes his job seriously, maybe a bit too seriously. That isn’t easy, as few, if any, have respect for the noble mall cop.
In the first film, Blart saved his mall from a group of highly trained criminals who took control of a shopping center in order to rob…um…the local branch bank. Ummm….really? For more criminal masterminds, wouldn’t robbing a mall branch bank be akin to knocking over a 7-11? I mean, the idea that highly sophisticated ne’er-do-wells would put so much time and effort into…
Nope. Nope. Not going to question it. Just going to sit back and watch.
This time Blart attends the security officer convention in Las Vegas, only to have his daughter kidnapped by art thieves who are really there mainly just as an excuse for Blart to crack the case with his patented “I’m incompetent but somehow I get things done anyway” style.
Here’s the hard part when it comes to busting on Paul Blart – the movie constantly busts on itself. The folks behind the screen are fully aware they aren’t bringing you high-brow humor.
And it’s not like they tricked you into thinking you’re coming to see something sophisticated. They didn’t package it as “Shakespeare’s Greatest Hits” to get you in the theater (would that have gotten you in the theater?) and then pull the rug from underneath you and show you Paul Blart.
It’s goofy. It’s silly. It isn’t raunchy, life a minute fun like the original Hangover. When we’re talking about movies you can take the whole family to, Paul Blart is about as funny as it gets.
It has its moments. Blart gets attacked by various animals. Blart crosses between two casino rooftops on a zip line.
An attractive female hotel manager provides Blart with some assistance. The dimwitted Blart mistakes this as a pass, and “shuts her down” with a longwinded speech about how he’s off the market. She wasn’t buying in the first place, but as the movie progresses, the more he rejects her, the crazier about him she becomes until she’s madly in love with him.
I’m just going to throw it out there – I might try that trick myself. Attention women of the world, I reject you.
It’s not the worst movie in the world. It might be worth a rental. I don’t think you need to rush out to see it at the theater.
Yeah. I took that bullet for you. I even wore a disguise so no one would recognize me coming out of Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2. You’re welcome.
Status: Unshelf worthy. You might watch it once if you’ve got nothing better to do, but as the years go on, you won’t be feeling any sudden urges to return to the world of Blart.
There’s been so much speculation that this movie will stink. Me? I always had a feeling that the people behind this flick knew they were taking a big bite with this one and assumed they wouldn’t be doing so if they didn’t think they’d be able to chew it.
In my opinion, the trailer looks great.
The apparent premise? Superman has God-like powers that make people afraid. Those in fear include Batman who, presuming the Man of Steel poses a threat to the world, decides to take the notorious tights wearer on.
We can only hope the film ends with them patching up their differences and singing a hearty round of kum-bai-yah. After all, they’re both good guys.
But if someone has to be the victor, my money’s on Batman.
Well, at least I’m rooting for the Dark Knight.
Good Old Superman – the superhero who started it all. People love to root for him and over the years, he’s become a symbol for “Truth, Justice, and the American way.”
He’s also hard to identify with. Handsome, flawless, chiseled – shoot him and he spits out the bullet with his teeth. Set him on fire and he doesn’t burn. Blow him up and he comes back for more. He can fly, run fast, lift enormous and heavy objects, turn back time, shoot lasers out of his eyes. He has every power.
Unless you chuck a rare piece of Kryptonite at him, he’s going to eat you for breakfast and therefore, while fun to cheer him on, it’s hard to look at Superman and say, “there’s a fella like me!”
Batman? Well, his powers are derived from money, intellect, and drive. Money is obviously the big factor as it affords him the ability to spend a vast repository of wealth on his vigilante persona.
So, yeah, you might argue it’s also hard to relate to Batman except for the fact that Batman, though he probably wouldn’t budge at the sight of Kryptonite, could otherwise die in a multitude of ways!
Superman has always proven to be a difficult character to portray on the big screen. Here you have a character with so much power and one would think the ultimate foil would be an equally powerful bad guy.
Yet, for some reason the 1970’s and 80’s movies pitted him up against Gene Hackman’s caricature of a criminal mastermind. Though fun to watch, Lex Luthor was historically, at least in the comic book world, a more intelligent, cold, and calculating foe. So many old Superman films and yet the hero to end all heroes rarely met a baddie his equal.
2013’s Man of Steel sought to remedy that with General Zod, a fellow citizen of Krypton who, like Superman, also becomes blessed with super powers when under Earth’s yellow sun. In fact, I’d argue the old film starring Terrence Stamp was the best of that series because it was the only one where Superman fought a challenger with similar powers.
Man of Steel, to this blogger, wasn’t the dud that other critics labeled it. However, I have to admit, when I saw Superman and Zod smashing their way through an IHOP, a 7-11 and other chain stores, my reaction was, “Wow, that is a lot of product placement.”
Since that was my only issue with Man of Steel, I assume I’ll have a fun time watching Batman and Superman, as long as Bruce doesn’t drive the batmobile through an Outback Steakhouse or something.
Were you skeptical of Ben Affleck as Batman? Admittedly, I was. Actually, I was on the fence. On the one hand, Affleck has given us Gigli. On the other hand, he also gave us Argo. He’s given us more pops than flops, so I assumed he wouldn’t have taken the role if he didn’t think he could deliver, and thus far this trailer proves me right.
Will DC finally catch up to Marvel’s box office prowess? We’ll have to wait until next year to find out.
Just a reminder – after tonight’s episode I’ll be doing a show wrap-up. So many GOT fan bloggers out there. Feel free to stop by, chew the fat, offer your latest conspiracy theory, debunk some of mine, and while you’re at it, toss in a plug for your blog.
I’m always happy to do what I can to send my 3.5 readers (including my Aunt Gertrude) your way.
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