social media | Bookshelf Battle

Nov 29 2016

Five More Boring Things to Do from the Yeti

By: The Yeti, International War Criminal/Super Boring Fuzzy Snow Monster

Hello overstimulated 3.5 readers.

The Yeti here, back with some more boring things for you to do.

#1 – Eat a Bag of Rice Cakes

Literally, like consuming styrofoam. What is the point? You can eat a bag of them and it is like 10 calories or something. Rice cakes are like methadone for a recovering fat person. Very boring.

#2 – Wait in a Line

Doesn’t matter what it is for. Just pick a line and wait.

#3 – Do a Crossword Puzzle

“Oh look at me! I’m Mr. Genius Newspaper Crossword Puzzle Creator! Blah, blah, blah I’m so smart because I lined up a word going across with another word going down based on a single letter that both words have in common. Someone give me a trophy, blah, blah, blah.”

Boring!

#4- Share a Dumbass Face Book Meme

“Oh, look at me again! Here is my stupid post with a copyright infringing yellow minion and it says some bullshit like, ‘I wonder if I share a hug how many people would hug me back? I bet I don’t get one hug!'”

Good! Call a bookie and place that bet because that is some winning action, you incredibly boring assface!

#5 – Get Into a Political Argument with a Facebook Friend

“Blah, blah, blah. I work at the gas station and I think Trump is the best. Oh yeah? Well, blah, blah, blah, I work at a drive-thru burger joint and I think Hillary was outta sight. Oh yeah? Well, I live on a commune and I’m all about Bernie. Yes, let us all blah, blah, blah our unwavering political opinions at each other all night despite our lack of qualifications and credentials, blah, blah, blah.”

Boredom forever!

Tired of a Yeti controlled Bookshelf Battle Blog? Kick the Yeti’s furry butt out of BQB HQ by following BQB on Twitter – @bookshelfbattle

Tagged clinton, Comedy, crossword puzzles, facebook, funny, humor, social media, the yeti, trump, twitter

Nov 11 2016

2 Comments

Ask the Alien, Uncategorized

Ask the Alien – Help Bookshelf Q. Battler Save the World – 11/12/16

By: Alien Jones, Intergalactic Correspondent

Greetings Earth Losers.

Before I begin, I’d like to say congratulations to America for concluding its presidential election.

You may have thought this election was tough. In fact, it reminded me of the Flaknarkian election of 29292929 for the position of Illustrious Poobah.

The Flaknarkians are a walrus shaped people. The male candidate was an elderly walrus with outlandish hair and the female was also an elderly walrus but she had a penchant for falling down all the time.

Hmm…come to think of it, there wasn’t a lot of difference between that election and yours.

Anyway, if your candidate prevailed, congratulations. If your candidate lost, my condolences.

But whether you are happy are sad by the results of this election, fear not, for it is meaningless, as the Mighty Potentate will most certainly take control of your wretched planet at some point anyway.

You may recall that some time ago my supreme overlord, the Mighty Potentate, declared that Bookshelf Q. Battler is the chosen one, the only writer capable of putting out a book so finely crafted that it would inspire the masses to give up on reality television altogether.

It’s been over a year and alas, BQB has yet to publish a novel.

Ergo, to prevent the spread of reality television across the cosmos, His Potentosity is planning a hostile takeover of your planet should BQB fail in his writing efforts.

In other words, start getting used to the idea of being ruled by the Mighty Potentate because it doesn’t look like BQB will ever get his ass into gear.

But you can help BQB and in so doing, save your planet from the Mighty Potentate’s potent potential.

All you need to do is follow BQB on one of the following time wasting social media sites that aliens invented to cause all of you dumb humans to grow dumber, fatter, lazier and more obnoxious and angry about literally everything.

Oh wait. I’ve said too much.

BQB on Twitter

BQB on Facebook

BQB on Wattpad

BQB on Google Plus

BQB is an especially Twitterer. In fact, he Tweets as much as your incoming president but he is not as orange.

BQB checks in on Facebok and Wattpad regularly but has been letting Google + slide, though he needs to get back to it soon.

So follow him and then once he writes his book you can help him promote it and in effect, save the world from the Mighty Potentate.

In the meantime, if you see BQB screwing around on this pitiful blog, tell him to get his back ass to work on his novel, for the fate of the world is at stake.

Alien Jones is the Bookshelf Battle Blog’s intergalactic correspondent, graciously lending the power of his brain to answer your questions.

Ask the Alien a question and he may very well plug your book or blog in his answer. Ask questions in the comments or tweet them to @bookshelfbattle

Together, we can promote self-published material and ween the masses off reality television, a form of entertainment that Alien Jones’ boss, the maniacal alien despot known as “The Mighty Potentate” despises so much that he’s plotting an invasion of Earth just to stop it.

Tagged aliens, ask the alien, campaign, clinton, election, facebook, google +, Science Fiction, scifi, self publishing, social media, trump, twitter, Wattpad

Nov 11 2016

How Trump Won With Social Media

Hey 3.5 readers.

Your old pal Bookshelf Q. Battler here.

So my usual disclaimer. I’m not going to talk politics or the pros and cons of one side or the other.

This is a nerd blog for nerd things so I want to talk about social media.

I figured a year ago Trump would win based on one thing:

He had way more Facebook likes and Twitter followers than Hillary.

Really. That’s it.

I don’t remember what it was a year ago but his Facebook and Twitter followers were more than hers and as of today he’s got roughly 4 million more Facebook likes than she does (not an exact figure, I am too lazy to do the exact math but it is close.)

I don’t have Mitt Romney and Barack Obama’s figures from 2012 but I’m willing to bet Barack had more than Mitt.

And I believe this is a sign for all political watchers and armchair quarterbacks to consider:

He or she who has the most follows and likes on social media will win.

Yup. That’s how we will one day end up with President Kardashian.

But I digress.

3.5 READERS: Oh but BQB is the number of social media followers a good way to decide an election?

On the face of it, no, but the social media numbers don’t decide the election. They are an early warning sign that the public digs one candidate more than the other.

Think about it.

Social media starts out as a good idea. You can talk to like your 5 closest friends and family members that you actually want to hear from.

But then to be polite you have to add your third cousin twice removed, your long lost uncle, your pet hamster’s geography teacher’s sister’s yoga instructor.

Before you know it, your Facebook feed is filled with the rantings of tons of asshats saying things you don’t want to hear.

No pet hamster’s geography teacher’s sister’s yoga instructor! I do not give a shit what you ate for lunch today!

Your Facebook feed is valuable virtual real estate in your eyes and you give it away only if you have to.

Ergo, if you really dig a candidate, you’ll click that like so you can get brainwashed by your favorite candidate.

This isn’t a perfect science. I’m not saying someone with less followers will never win but I think that yeah, it does make a win less likely because the candidate with more followers is getting his/her message out to more people.

2008. 2012. 2016. These are the only three presidential elections where social media was a thing. And in each election (though I’m just guessing via McCain vs. Obama and Romney vs. Obama but I believe I’m right) the person with the most follows and likes won.

That’s my theory. Don’t get bogged down into the politics. Just talk about the social media science of it all.

Because as I always say, it doesn’t matter what side of the political aisle you are on, the really important thing is that you all love me and you all come together and buy the books I have yet to write if I ever get around to writing and publishing them.

Tagged campaign, clinton, donald trump, election, facebook, hillary clinton, news, politics, social media, trump, twitter

Oct 07 2016

2 Comments

Social Media

No One Wants to Buy Twitter

This CNN article explains it better but essentially, Twitter is looking for a buyer and Disney, Google, and Apple have said nope.

What’s up? What do you think? Has Twitter reached its apex? Its zenith? Yikes, I’ve put a lot of time into it I hope its not going to go the way of Myspace.

What say you, 3.5 readers? Do you use Twitter? Do you like it? Is tweeting worth it?

Oh and shameless plug – follow me @bookshelfbattle

Tagged apple, cnn, disney, google +, news, social media, tech, technology

Sep 03 2016

5 Comments

Social Media

Is YouTube Over? ( Or, #YouTubeIsOverParty )

Hey 3.5 readers.

Happy Saturday.

So there’s been some talk on the ole inter webs this week that “YouTube is Over.”

Specifically, YouTube has set down some rules that affect the “monetization” of YouTube videos, or in other words, cut into the dough that popular YouTubers make via their YouTubery.

Honestly, I have a face for podcasting and a voice for blogging, so YouTubing is something I don’t forsee myself ever getting into. Ergo, I’m not sure how it all works vis a vis the money but I assume YouTubers get a cut of the money their videos make when ads are shown before their videos.)

Admittedly, I could be explaining that all wrong. If you know more, fill me in.

At any rate, YouTube has laid down some new rules that YouTubers must follow in order for their videos to be considered “advertiser friendly” and therefore be deemed worthy of monetization i.e. profit for the YouTuber.

YouTuber Phillip DeFranco posted an extensive video about the situation:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gbph5or0NuM

The new rules are thus:

So, as I look above, my gut reaction is “OK, these situations could be problematic…but…what about context?”

Sexually Suggestive Content – Eh…I mean no, we don’t want YouTube to be turned into a porn repository but sometimes YouTubers post funny videos about sex, or talk about sexual issues or give advice about sex. Pretty much every song – pop, rap or otherwise is about sex so their accompanying music videos will be about sex.

Violence – In many ways, this is a no brainer. We don’t want YouTube to become online fight club no more than we want it to be a porn depot. So no, no one should be bonking someone in the head and then posting it. And obviously regarding violent extremism we don’t want extremists using YouTube to peddle their evil deeds. But what if a YouTuber is reviewing a violent film? Some YouTubers even produce and put out their own web TV shows that may include fictional violence.

Inappropriate language – I get it. Bad language = bad. Directed at another person = bad. Used in the context of a joke – could be funny.

Drugs – No, we don’t need the youth of the world to be able to go onto YouTube and find videos about how to roll a joint or what have you…but what if someone is mentioning drugs in a joking “Cheech and Chong” like manner?

So here’s the thing. Sex, violence, bad language and drugs. I get it. These are issues advertisers don’t want to be associated with.

But I could see how there could be a context issue that makes people worry…i.e. YouTubers may be concerned that they might be left in limbo if their videos discuss these issues without necessarily stating that these activities are cool or good or whatever.

And a further concern raised in the Twittosphere has been will there might be selective enforcement. (i.e. if the average schmuck YouTuber isn’t getting any money for his video that mentions sex and drugs then fairness dictates that popular music videos that mention sex and drugs also not get monetized).

But ok. Devil’s advocate. Advertisers of toothpaste, cars, candy, whatever don’t want to be associated with your YouTube video if these rules aren’t followed. OK. No more sex, drugs, violence and bad language in my YouTube videos and problem solved, right?

Well, check out the last rule. While the other ones seem to have an issue with context:

“Controversial or sensitive subjects and events including subjects related to war, political conflicts, natural disasters and tragedies, even if graphic imagery is shown.”

Um…it could just be me but this sounds a lot like, “if you post videos about the news, no ka-ching for you!”

And naturally, many political video bloggers or v-loggers are suggesting just that – that this may be a way to crack down on certain political ideas, speech, thoughts, etc.

My two cents – if networks can sell ads during the nightly news, then surely video bloggers who discuss the news, politics, etc should be able to get a few bucks.

Honestly 3.5 readers, I know nothing about any of this and am just regurgitating what I’ve read in the Twitosphere so I could be wrong. Assume I am wrong. Don’t think badly of YouTube or YouTubers based on this post but rather, go do your own research.

I assume this will be a situation that no one will know the impact of until it happens and YouTubers report to the public on whether or not they see a decline in cash flow but at any rate if you’re an indie content producer of any kind, whether it be blogging, social media, video posting or whatever, not putting all your eggs in one basket is key.

Branch out lest new rules come down the pike and blindside you.

If you know more about this and can set me straight or better yet if you’re a YouTuber who knows the 411, discuss in the comments.

Tagged advertising, monetization, new youtube rules, social media, videos, youtube, youtube rules, youtubeisoverparty, youtubers

Aug 27 2016

10 Comments

Tomfoolery

I Regret Not Starting a Blog Earlier

I have to say, since I started this blog in 2014, it has been one of few activities I have participated in where the more I work at it, the more I get out of it.

Every week I get more followers. Those followers stack up over time. I still don’t get as many views and/or visitors as I’d like, though those figures have increased each year though, leaving me hopeful that they’ll actually reach a high point.

Keeping my fingers crossed.

I don’t recall when I first heard of the term “blogging.”

Had to have been somewhere in the mid-2000s.

It just seemed dumb.

I figured that publications that had a large print following would essentially use their money to take over online.

And to an extent they did but I never realized what opportunities there were for writers to go it alone.

Ergo, I often wonder had I got into blogging say, a decade ago, perhaps I’d have 300,500 readers instead of 3.5 readers.

Oh well. “If I could turn back time” as Cher has been known to sing in her leather underpants.

Honestly though, and there are more seasoned experts who can correct me but, I’m not sure any of this really became that viable until social media came about, allowing bloggers to post links to their blogs using hashtags of subjects they are interested in or that their posts pertain to.

I hate to admit it because unfortunately I’m one of those people who feels the need to view myself as having the biggest brain in the room, but I never really imagined that social media was going to turn into anything important when it came out.

“Huh” I thought when I first got onto Facebook. A site that lets everyone discuss their thoughts…and everyone I know has very dumb thoughts…and they all insist on sharing them 24/7.

“I picked my nose!” #nosecandy

“I ate a tuna fish sandwich for lunch!” #straightuptunason

“My political views are ultimately superior to yours, moron!” #politickinglikeamofo

Long story short, I didn’t get into any of this until 2014.

Would that I could take Doc’s DeLorean to say, I dunno, 2006? That’s the year Twitter started. And when YouTube started I believe. Had I been up to this for ten years I like to think I’d actually be somewhere that involves getting paid for blogging but…oh well, then again, I don’t like to think about things I can’t change.

Don’t even get me started on YouTube. Being able to buy everything you need to start your own web show at Best Buy?

Sorry, I dated myself. Being able to buy everything you need to start your own web show on Amazon?

(You whippersnappers still use Amazon, right? )

In summation, budding young artists, creatives, writers, actors, comedians, singers, musicians or what have you literally have no idea, no idea whatsoever how lucky they have it to have all this technology at their fingertips.

Build your audience, 3.5 readers. Because when I was your age, if you wanted to make it in a creative field, you had to walk twenty miles up a hill just to kiss the ass of the guy who knows the guy who knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy whose cousin’s sister’s uncle’s cousin’s neighbor’s boyfriend’s cat trainer’s donkey pharmacist might, just might know a guy who could introduce you to the guy whose ass you need to kiss just to get an interview with the guy who might be able to help you get your foot in the door.

That’s a whole lot of ass kissing. A proud man like me just isn’t down for it.

Enjoy the new world, 3.5. There’s never been a better time to be a creative person.

Except for maybe the Renaissance. If you lived in Europe you were able to paint pictures of chubby chicks…but even then only 3.5 people ever saw those paintings.

Whoa. I’ve come full circle.

Tagged blogging, creativity, facebook, funny, humor, social media, technology, twitter, writing, youtube

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