Daily Archives: April 5, 2016

The Walking Dead – Season 6 Finale – The Last Day On Earth

SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS

DON’T READ AHEAD IF YOU DON’T WANT SPOILERS.

I’ll try not to ruin it too much anyway.  But still, spoilers afoot.

I think the thing that grabbed me the most was how much fear was expressed on all of the actors’ faces, Rick in particular.  We never see Rick afraid after all.  And that took some guts to show him that way.  Hollywood never wants to show the hero afraid.  Sheer hopelessness.  Stuck.  No way out.

Jeffrey Dean Morgan was scary as Neegan.  Apparently in the comic book, Neegan’s thing is to swear every other word but hey, it’s AMC, so he did his best to be scary without naughty language.

Apparently, all manner of violence is ok but a potty mouth is where the censors draw the line.

Steven Ogg was great as Neegan’s sidekick.  If you’ve played Grand Theft Auto 5, then you know Ogg as Trevor.

I’m not sure I understood the part with Eugene.  I thought he was going to sacrifice himself or something.  Oh well.

Another great season.  Looking forward to the next.

What say you, 3.5 readers?

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Top Ten Warning Signs Your Girlfriend Might Be a Crazy Cat Lady

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Video Game Rack Fighter Cat – Official Pet of BQB’s Better-Half

Pets.  They bring joy to our lives and only ask for food, water and the ability to poop and barf all over our rugs, furniture and priceless possessions in return because they are dirty disgusting little bastards.

Hey, no one threw you out that one time you pooped on the sofa (you know you did it) so you can give your furry friend a break for the occasional accident, right?

But what if it is two furry friends?  Or three furry friends?  Or fifty-eight furry friends?!

From BQB HQ in fabulous East Randomtown, here are the Top Ten Warning Signs Your Girlfriend Might Be a Crazy Cat Lady:

10:  Wherever she goes and whatever she set out to do, she never fails to come home with an extra cat.  Trip to the store for milk?  New cat.  Dentist appointment?  New cat.    Went to the movies?  New cat.  Westminster Dog Show?  New cat.

9.  No matter what you do in the house, you run the risk of a cat falling and landing  on your head.  Open the cupboard for your breakfast cereal.  Cat lands on your head.  Open the closet to get a new shirt for the day.  Cat lands on your head.  Open the desk drawer to find a pen.  A cat jumps up into the air and then…lands on your head.

8.  You went to the doctor for a bad cough.  X-rays indicate your lungs are 90% hair.

7.  You buy those pet hair rollers with extra stickiness by the case.

6.  You’ve become skilled at the 10-K hairball hork dash.  (When a cat begins to make horking sounds and you pick it up and run it outside before it can puke all over the rug.)

5.  What am I saying?  Your girlfriend is a cat lady.  You gave up on the rug years ago.  That rug is 5% carpet fiber and 95% puke.

4.  You have enough litter boxes in the basement to fill the Mojave three times off.

3.  And for some reason, even though she wanted all the cats, you’re always cleaning the boxes because, I don’t know, women’s rights or some shit.

2.  They take turns sleeping on your face.  She says it is because they love you but you are pretty sure they are using their pillow like bodies to smother you in your sleep.

  1.  There’s probably a joke about pu%&y to be made here, but you’ve heard them all before…because your house is filled…with so many damn cats.

 

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Top Ten Warning Signs Your Girlfriend Might Be a Young Adult Novel Heroine

 

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Tessa Fireswarm – YA Novel Protagonist/Attempts to Destroy BQB’s Magic Bookshelf Often

If you’ve been one of BQB’s 3.5 readers from the very beginning (my condolences to you for that is precious time out of your life that you will never get back) then you’re aware one of the characters living on BQB’s magic bookshelf is none other than a tiny version of Tessa Fireswarm, protagonist of the Arrowblast series.

What?  Up your nose with a rubber hose, Suzanne Collins.  Tessa is a true original.

Wait.  This just in.  Attorney Donnelly informs me that Tessa is a parody.  Whatever.  Just no one sue me please.

Anyway, when Tessa isn’t busy attempting to blow up the other characters living on BQB’s magic bookshelf in an ongoing war for shelf space, she occasionally advises BQB on the Young Adult genre.

Here now, with Tessa’s help, are the Top Ten Warning Signs Your Girlfriend Might Be a Young Adult Novel Heroine:

10.  She can never decide between you and some other dude because you’re both so perfect and dreamy.  Fear not because eventually one of you will do something douchey to make her decision a cinch.

9.  Always wears black but oddly is not a goth.

8.  Has never served in the military, engaged in combat, or even fired a gun before.  Miraculously, still capable of overthrowing a cruel dictatorial regime set against the backdrop of a futuristic dystopia.

7.  Politicians, generals and other heads of state are always interrupting your dates to consult her about every little thing.  Talk about rude.

6.  Her family has bought the farm courtesy of the evil dictator, thus motivating her hatred of whatever oppressive regime you happen to be living under.  But hey, look at the bright side.  No in-laws to drive you nuts on the holidays.  Am I right? (What?  Too soon?)

5.  Her life’s story sounds like a Schwarzenegger movie except the adults are replaced with kids.  Creepy!

4.  Whenever she tells you her life’s story, she drones on and on.  You don’t have the heart to tell her that she could cut it down into one book.  In fact, you have a sneaking suspicion that she’s going for the trilogy.

3.  Has a special power.  Expert marksmanship.  Telekinesis.  Magic.  Whatever her power is, it’s not “making sandwiches for boyfriends 101.”  (Psst, women don’t have that power in the real world either so get used to it, kids!)

2.  Zombies or zombie-like creatures seem to get crowbarred into her adventures for no other reason than hey, people like zombies!

  1.  Whatever war she’s fighting, she didn’t want to start it, but she’ll end it.  Try not to let her warrior skills make you feel like a girly man.  (Even though, yeah, they kinda do.
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