Last September, a band of pirates took over bookshelfbattle.com in celebration of National Pirate Week.
They taught you all how to talk like a pirate…but you didn’t learn how to speak like a she-pirate.
If your girlfriend were a pirate, here is the English to Pirate translation of things she might say to you…er, “to ye.”
10. ENGLISH: Honey, I wish you’d help out around the house more.
PIRATE TRANSLATION: Avast ye stinking bilge rat! Batten down the hatches, trim the mainsail and swab the poop deck or it’s the cat of nine tails for ye.
9. ENGLISH: I’m in the mood for nookie.
PIRATE TRANSLATION: ARRR ye filthy landlubber! Raise the misen mast fer it be time to keel haul across the starboard bow.
8. ENGLISH: I am not happy with you right now.
PIRATE TRANSLATION: ARRRR! Avast ye scurvy dog! Listen and listen well, fer another trespass will earn ye a trip to walk the plank, where you’ll end up in the briney deep, trapped in Davey Jones’ locker for the rest of ye miserable days.
7. ENGLISH: I love you.
PIRATE TRANSLATION: Arrr.
6. ENGLISH: I am mad at you.
PIRATE TRANSLATION: Arrr!
5. ENGLISH: I’m confused.
PIRATE TRANSLATION: Arrr?
4. ENGLISH: Let’s go on a vacation.
PIRATE TRANSLATION: Point yon vessel toward the third star and journey into the rotten bowels of our miserable mistress, the sea.
3. ENGLISH: Let’s get a drink. I know a trendy new martini bar.
PIRATE TRANSLATION: Hoist ye grog matey and fill yer hole with this nasty brew.
2. ENGLISH: I’m worried about our finances.
PIRATE TRANSLATION: ARRRR! Pillage yon village, matey! Abscond with all the gold ye can carry and bury it where X marks the spot.
- ENGLISH: I want to see other people. It’s not you. It’s me.
PIRATE TRANSLATION: There isn’t a literal pirate translation for this one. She would just run a sword through your belly, matey. Arr.