Monthly Archives: May 2016

Chewbacca Mom Video

In case you haven’t seen it, random lady Candace Payne now dubbed “Chewbacca Mom” made a video of herself trying on her brand new Chewbacca mask and laughed so uncontrollably that it became an instant viral video sensation:

Come on. That mask is cool. It is a marvel of modern engineering that we have masks now that can make you sound like Chewbacca.

I watched this video and my naturally skeptic self wondered, “Hmm.  Is she really that happy? Did she really find this that funny?  Was all that laughing just to up the video’s silliness factor?”

No.  Not at all. Clearly she really is that happy and I now envy her as I’m one of those people who can’t find that much joy in the smallest of things.

And she even ended up on the Late Late Show with James Corden and met JJ Abrams:

So here’s to you, Chewbacca Mom.

Your nerdyness inspires us all, and that’s saying a lot, seeing as how this is a blog run by a nerd for 3.5 readers.

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Daily Discussion with BQB – Who is Your Favorite X-Man?

X-Men: Apocalypse is coming out soon.

So I’ll pose this question to my 3.5 readers – who is your favorite X-Man?

I think I have to go with Psylocke and all that gratuitous booty.

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Write the Blog

I got nothing. Tell me what’s interesting in the blogosphere, 3.5 readers.

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This is my 15ooth Post

This one. Right here. 1500 posts in two years and three months.

1500 rantings about nonsense.

1500.

I wish I had planned something better for it but I just noticed I was at 1,499 and decided to make it an even 1500.

I’ll have to plan a party for my 2000th post.

Blogging has been quite a trip.  Often, I feel like it isn’t worth it.  That I write so much and there’s so little response.

But then I see progress.  All those followers and clicks add up.  I’ve seen more progress add up in this than anything else I’ve done.

Anyway, thanks 3.5 readers.  I’ll keep writing as long as at least 3.5 of you keep showing up.

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Daily Discussion with BQB – Which Came First, the Chicken or the Hodor?

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Ahem.

SPOILERS. SPOILERS. SPOILERS.

You have been forewarned about spoilers.

I have a question about the whole Hodor hullabaloo.

So last night we found out that Hodor’s name is Hodor because in the present timeline of Game of Thrones, Bran worged into the mind of young Hodor, back when he was Willis, and told him to “hold the door” to keep some monsters at bay in the present.

Young Willis had such a bad reaction to it that it broke his mind and he just kept repeating “hold the door” over and over until that was shortened to “Hodor.”

And then the poor guy’s life basically became walking around saying “Hodor” until he grew old and got to the point where he could hold the door for these dumb kids.

OK. Here’s my question.  Hodor, at some point, would have had to have gotten the kids to the tree place where this all goes down.

Is there an alternative timeline where Hodor was like a person who spoke normally and got the kids up North while being a sophisticated, intelligent talker and then once Bran worged back in time, the timeline changed and made it so that Hodor had been a guy who just says Hodor all along?

Time travel can be so difficult.

It’s like Terminator.  John Connor sends Kyle Reece back in time to protect his mother, Sarah Connor.  Kyle boinks Sarah and ends up as John’s father, but at some point, there had to have been some timeline where some other guy boinked Sarah to create John so that there would have been a John in the future to send Kyle to the past to inevitably boink his mother.

What say you, 3.5 readers?  Was there a well spoken Hodor before there was a Hodor speaking Hodor?

Bonus Question – Do you think George RR Martin knew from the start that Hodor would one day become a Hodor who holds the door and that’s why he named him Hodor?

Or did he coincidentally name him Hodor because he thought it would be funny for a guy to be wandering around who just says Hodor and then eventually he was like “hey Hodor sounds like hold the door maybe I can use this…”

As others have said, I think GRRM knew from the beginning.  But wow. That means he’s been holding onto this secret since the 1990s.

 

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Movie Review – The Nice Guys (2016)

Once in awhile a movie I haven’t heard too much of surprises me and this one is it.

Comedy. Action. A little bit of history/1970’s nostalgia. Rapid fire humor.

A depressed, drunken detective teams up with a leg breaker for hire to search for a missing porn actress.

BQB here with a review of The Nice Guys.

It’s the late 1970s. Ryan Gosling is Holland March, a private detective with a penchant for booze who doesn’t mind billing his clients but doesn’t have a lot of follow through when it comes to solving crimes. He gets paid just the same.

Jackson Healey (aka Russell Crowe) beats the crap out of people for money and in his free time, gets depressed over the wife who left him.

When a porn actress goes missing, they team up to take the case.

Many jokes ensue, some going so fast if you don’t concentrate you’ll miss them.

Jokes about waiting in gas station lines, phone cords getting in the way, and other things that well, people old enough to remember the 70’s (hell even the 80s) would find funny.

Rounding out the duo to make it a trio is Angourie Rice, who plays Holland’s thirteen year old daughter. March’s dedication to his fatherly duties is pretty much his one redeeming quality, though as a viewer, I was left thinking many of the situations Holly was put in weren’t exactly ordeals you’d want to see a thirteen year old go through.

1970’s clothes, fashions, and hairstyles. Russell Crowe is looking a little long in the tooth and far from his Gladiator days, which makes me sad. But he was still good in this.

There were a few moments that left me scratching my head. Kim Basinger plays the head of the Justice Department and uh…come on.  A lady Justice Department head wasn’t happening in the 70’s.  And Kim wasn’t made up to look very 70’s looking. She was just pretty much Kim, like she is in every movie she’s in.

It’s hard to explain the plot without giving it all away. And without delving into spoilers…it has an ending that, well, isn’t a traditional one. I might write about it after people have more time to see it.

Anyway. Worth it. Shelf-worthy. Check it out.

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Game of Thrones Recap – Season 6, Episode 5 – “The Door”

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SPOILERS, 3.5 READERS!  SPOILERS, I SAY!

BEWARE THE SPOILERS!

Holy crap.  What an episode. What a season! This show is firing on all cylinders.

Enjoyed the SNL-esque parody.  Robert getting gored by the boar, the actors making fun of Cersei, Ned, Sansa, Joffrey, Tyrion et. al.

People have been poking fun at their leaders for a long time I suppose.

It made me realize this show has been on for so long it can make fun of itself. Where did the 2010’s go? It feels like it just started yesterday.

We learned how the Whitewalkers were made.

Sansa is unhappy with Littlefinger. But she and Jon are off to attempt to whoop Ramsay’s ass.

Varys looked bested for the first time due to yet another red woman i.e. Lord of Light priestess.

And we, very sadly, learned how Hodor got his name.

What say you, 3.5 readers?

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How the West Was Zombed – Part 10 – Dying With Your Boots On

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Blythe has loaded his vile army of the undead aboard a train headed East, schemes to backstab his furry friends and enlists the aid of a strange vampire colleague for some sinister doings.

The vampire lawyer makes Slade an offer he can refuse, but in turn, the counselor refuses to take no for an answer.

Blythe separates Slade’s women.  Will our hero be able to save them both before it is too late?

Gunther wishes his boots were off.

Chapter 95       Chapter 96       Chapter 97

Chapter 98      Chapter 99       Chapter 100

Chapter 101     Chapter 102

 

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How the West Was Zombed – Chapter 96

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“Fuck those werewolves,” Blythe said. “Once we take D.C. I ought to have the whole lot of them shot.”

Blythe sat on a red velvet couch in a small, cozy cabin. Devoid of any windows, the only light came from a few lit candles sitting on a table.

Sounds of lip smacking filled the room.

“Without humans to contend with, those hairy bastards will no doubt start strutting about in their werewolf forms all day long,” Blythe said. “And before you know it, they’ll be challenging us.”

Blythe waited for a response.  Upon hearing none, he kept talking.

“I’ll be damned if everything I’ve worked for is going to be lost to a bunch of smelly dog men,” Blythe said.

The lip smacking continued.

“I say we as soon as we don’t need them anymore we line them up and shoot the whole lot of them in their ugly heads,” Blythe said. “Silver bullets all around.”

Blythe patiently waited for a response. Hearing none, he continued. “Oh, but I suppose the board will get their knickers in a twist over that idea too. They’ll tell me we need to make nicey-nice with our furry compatriots.”

The room grew quiet…and then…more lip smacking.

“Lamont?” Blythe asked. “Lamont, are you evening listening to me?”

From the other side of the couch, a response came in the form of a male with a cockney British accent.

“Sorry Guvnah,” the voice said. “A bit indisposed I is.”

The lifeless body of young woman dropped to the floor. Blythe took a candle and inspected her face. Pale. Drained of all color. Two holes in her neck.

Blythe looked to his right to see Lamar wiping his blood drenched lips on his shirt sleeve.

Lamont was big and brooding. Broad shouldered and muscular, with little more than black stubble covering his head.

“I didn’t offer you no gravy,” Lamar said as he retracted his fangs. “Was that wicked?”

“A trifle rude but I’m not hungry,” Blythe replied. “Did you hear a word I said?”
“Bob’s your Uncle, I did, I did,” Lamont replied. “Bit of a sticky wicket that business. A fluffy dog be a vamp’s best mate today but it could bite the hand wot feed it tomorrow, yeah? ‘Aint not use for a bollocks dodger but you might  bide your ticks till it do the biting err right’s on your side, wot wot?”

“I have no idea what you’re saying half the time, Lamont,” Blythe replied. “But no matter. I need you to do a job for me.”

“A bit o’ the cat o’ nine tails, is it?” Lamont asked. “Flog your gullivah? Get down to brass tacks and make some brown bread, ay? Butcher’s hook for the ducks and geese. Might make me a bit knackered I nose but who is I to Barnaby Rudge?”

Blythe’s eyes widened with confusion. “Will you just grab your tool kit already?”

“Right-o,” Lamont said as he opened a closet. He removed a large tin box, set it up on the table and opened it.

Knives of all different shapes and sizes. Corkscrews. Surgical tools.

“Blood bags it is?” Lamont inquired.

That question, Blythe understood. “Blood bags it is,” he replied.

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Daily Discussion with BQB – What Advice Do You Have for the Class of 2016?

Hey 3.5 Readers.1398459277

Wow. Uncle Hardass was kind of hard on the graduates, wasn’t he?

Oh well. That’s what he does.

My main achievement in life is being the proprietor of a blog with 3.5 readers, so I don’t want to hold myself out as an esteemed example for the graduates to follow.

But, here are my thoughts:

WHAT SHOULD I STUDY? WHAT SHOULD BE MY MAJOR? (DO YOUR RESEARCH)

If you’re a college graduate, you’ve already answered this question yourself.

If you’re a high school graduate, you’re about to.

This is a tough one.  The whole college process is very odd.  We take very young people who (I don’t want to say all) but many haven’t experienced the hard knocks of life yet, aren’t aware of who they are or what their strengths and weaknesses are…

…and then we ask them at age 18 to sign up for a course of study that will dictate their profession for the rest of their lives.

Part of me wonders if maybe there shouldn’t be a post high-school period where high school graduates just work for a little while. Save up some money. Get some entry level experience in fields you are interested in to see if you like those fields or not.

Figure out a) which profession holds your interest and b) which profession you’re able to do without feeling like you want to jump out of a window because as it turns out, you don’t like it.

Youngsters are bright eyed and busy tailed.  They believe things will always work out. The roughest thing to go with is spending a long time (and a lot of money) on a course study that either a) doesn’t lead to any viable job opportunities for you or b) you just plain hate it after you learn more about what the job actually entails.

I don’t want to be one of those adults that says “you kids have it good” but you know what? You kids have it good.

The Internet was in its infancy when I went to college.  Back then, there wasn’t a lot of information about various career options.

Today, there’s a vast wealth of online knowledge about the various occupational tracks you can take.

Back in my day, as in your day today, when you went to some kind of informational recruiting event at a college, the faculty members in charge of the program will give you a stellar pitch. That’s their job. They’re not in the business of telling you why you shouldn’t be coming to their school to study in their department.

Now, you can go online and look up all the info.  How much can people in a certain job expect to make? How much crap will they have to go through? What is the competition for jobs like? Are there a lot of graduates in that field who have been twiddling their thumbs for years who aren’t able to find a job in that field? Have their been a lot of cutbacks meaning freshly minted grads will find themselves competing against older, more experienced workers with lots of training under their belts?

What are the pros and cons?  Are there stories from people who are glad they chose this path?  Are there people who wish they’d never heard of this particular course of study and would gladly go back in time and change majors if they could?

Kids, you do have it better than any previous generation when it comes to researching potential majors and career paths, so whatever you do, don’t go into this blind. Take advantage of the plethora of information that is out there.

Whatever you pick, you’ll be stuck with, so research, research, research.  Be honest with yourself, who you are, what you’re good at, what you’re not good at, and ultimately, if you think a certain profession is something you’d enjoy doing.

KNOWLEDGE VS. SKILLS

I have to be honest. I’ve been through a lot of school, but I don’t really feel like any of my professors passed any worthwhile, employable skills to me.

College and grad school made me smart. It made me intelligent. It filled my head with knowledge that I can crack out at parties.

But like a junkyard dog, I still had to scramble for anything good that came my way.

I don’t necessarily want to generalize, but on the whole, say in the Baby Boomers’ day, getting a college degree meant you were set for life.

Today, getting a college degree is like getting a high school degree because so many people have them.

Many majors focus on thinking and specifically, the thought processes that apply to a particular occupation.

But, if you can get some actual hands-on skills, that’d be great. If you can actually DO something, that would be awesome.

If you leave college being able to fix a computer or something that’d be awesome.

This does bring up the whole debate about colleges vs. vocational skills and I’ll just reiterate that I do think we need to move towards not making the kid that picks plumbing or HVAC repair feel like they’re dummies.

Sigh. There were so many kids I graduated with that I thought were dummies who got trade jobs because I thought, that’s the best those dummies could do and ironically, many of them do much better than this nerd today.

PIE IN THE SKY PROFESSIONS

If you want to be an actor, singer, dancer, musician, writer, or something else equally unlikely, I don’t want to be the one who stifles your dream and/or creativity.

Chances are, you know about the odds already.

The argument against pursuing these dreams is that you’ll one day find you are thirty years old, that you spent a lot of time chasing a dream that didn’t happen, it’s starting to look like your dream will never happen and you don’t really have any skills that can land you a job where you can make a decent living.

You’ll end up crying, “Oh, if only I’d become a Certified Public Accountant or a Dental Hygienist” or something.

Here’s my take on it.

I don’t want to tell you to go all out, balls to wall, after your dream because hey, the odds are against you making it.

But, in my case, I dropped my pie in the sky dream of being a writer to pursue a more traditional career path.

As of today, it worked out well, but for many years pretty hellacious.

I know what it is like to send out resumes with no responses.

I know what it is like to want to just drop to your knees and beg a potential employer to give you a chance.

I know what it is like to get that form letter in the mail telling you thanks for applying but we can’t hire you at this time.

Ultimately, all the time I spent until I finally was accepted into a traditional career path – there’s a part of me that feels like I probably would have had more fun had I just moved out to LA, waited tables by day and worked on movie scripts at night.

Where am I going with this?

If you pursue a pie in the sky dream, the odds are overwhelmingly against you.

But, the economy does suck, so you’re also going to have to fight for a traditional job too.

That’s not necessarily an invite to ignore tradition and embrace pie on the sky.

You still have a much, much better chance at becoming an accountant or a dentist than you do an actor or a gainfully employed writer.

What you have to ask yourself is how much failure will you be able to accept?

If you can honestly say that at age thirty, you won’t regret spending ten years waiting tables and going to acting auditions.  If you can look at it as an enjoyable experience, that you’re glad you gave your all to your dream, then go for it.

If you think that you’ll reach age thirty and if nothing ever came of your auditioning efforts, that you won’t totally hate yourself and be horribly mean to yourself and start yelling at yourself for not becoming a dentist when you were younger, then just seek that traditional occupation now.

That’s why I sought the traditional path.  I knew if it didn’t work out, I’d be very critical of myself.  I’m still very critical of myself anyway but that’s just who I am.  I am very mean and rude to myself.

My other thoughts:

  • If you get accepted to say, Julliard, or some other big city/big name acting/performance program, you’ll definitely want to go. In that case, you’ll be making contacts in “the business.”  However, if you go to college in Buttwatter, Nowheresville, I’m not sure what you gain from majoring in Theater Arts under the direction of some wannabe actor living in Buttwater, Nowheresville.  If you’re in that situation, major in something useful and then explore your dream if you so desire.
  • If you want to split the difference, you might consider some professions you could do where you’d earn more money, develop a good career path, and still pursue your big dream.  Just off the top of my head, I feel like there are many jobs that require you to work days, nights, weekends and are very unforgiving if you take time off.  On the other hand, there are many jobs where you’ll be allowed a certain number of days off per year and all you need do is tell your boss when you need to take one and boom you have a day off to go to your audition or whatever.
  • I am, yet again, going to tell you kids how much better you have it than I do.  “When I was your age” there was no YouTube, so I wasn’t able to make funny videos.  There was no Facebook or Twitter for me to promote them.  Blogging? Schmogging.  That wasn’t around either.  I can tell you unequivocally, 110% I firmly believe that had all this stuff been around when I was 20, I would have gotten myself on Saturday Night Live and would be enjoying my movie career today.  That’s not bravado, that’s just me feeling I have skill but alas, lacked opportunity when I was in my prime. (Pssst – it’s bravado.  I’m not totally sure I’d of ended up on SNL, but I can tell you I would have had a fun ass time making YouTube videos had it been around when I was young.)
  • The good news for you youngsters is that all this technology could very well help you in that you don’t necessarily always HAVE to choose between traditional jobs and pie in the sky dreams.  Want to be a writer? Get a traditional job in a traditional occupation.  Then write your ass off on the nights and weekends and self publish.  Want to be an actor? Make some videos and post them on YouTube. (Ah the rub with all this though is if you’re posting anything out to the public, you’ll probably want to be cool and tone it down somewhat because potential employers of your traditional field will be squares, beholden to the man and wary if you’re posting salacious stuff.)  At any rate, keep pursuing both and either a) your dream will materialize and you can quit your day job or b) your dream will sink like a stone but at least you’ve put a lot of time and effort into a traditional job so you can move up the ranks in that profession, put food on your table, bank money, go on trips and vacations, live in a decent house, start a family, all that good stuff.

YOU GUYS DON’T COMPLETELY HAVE IT BETTER THAN I DID

The tech you have available to you at a time when you’re young and can really do something with it is amazing.  Of that, I’m envious.

But, on the flip side, the world is getting scarier.  The country is getting more and more divided. The economy’s worse than ever.  College costs more than ever yet a degree is less likely to secure you a job than ever.

Sooo…I get it.  In many ways, the world is a rough place for you.

(But seriously, I wish I grew up in a time when you could buy all the shit you need to start your own Internet TV show from Best Buy for a couple hundred bucks, you lucky, lucky bastards.)

FINALLY…

I am a dumbass who just writes a blog for 3.5 readers.  Do not take anything I said above as advice.  You should in no way rely on any of it. Do your own research.  Make your own plans.  Make your own choices.  Just don’t make decisions based on statements made on blogs that only have 3.5 readers, like this blog, for example.

Oh that leads me to my…

DISCUSSION QUESTION – 3.5 readers, what advice do you have for the Class of 2016?

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