The brief rundown – Hulk Hogan was caught on tape having sex with a friend’s wife. Gawker somehow (I haven’t cared enough to find out how) got ahold of it and put a clip on their site.
We could probably debate all day long about whether or not the Hulkster is a good guy or an a-hole. If you’re an 80’s kid, chances are you spent a fair amount of time watching him go toe to toe against the Iron Sheik and you probably have some fond memories of that nonsense.
But then again, he’s had his share of scandals and inappropriate behaviors.
Let’s not get into that.
Instead, let’s get into what this suit means…we are bloggers after all…not at the level that Gawker is at but still, we have to remember to watch our P’s and Q’s lest we end up with a lawsuit of our own.
I’ll bring it down to a debate question – Do you 3.5 readers think a sex tape is newsworthy or does it qualify as something private and not necessary for the public to see?
Personally, I fall on the latter side of this question. No one needs to see the Hulkomaniac go at it, brother.
So here’s the setup. Seth Rogen and James Franco (the comedy duo behind Pineapple Express and also that movie that almost led to a war with North Korea) have made a cartoon.
For the first thirty seconds of the trailer, you almost think it is another Pixar style cartoon. What’s every Pixar movie about? Talking toys. Talking cars. Talking bugs. Talking planes. Talking fish. Always about something that doesn’t talk only now it is talking.
This one is about food. Yes. All this time you never knew that food products can talk. They sit on the store shelves, waiting for you to pick them up with the hope that you’re going to do something great with them and….
…yup…the food products engage in all kinds of obscenity once they learn what people actually do with food.
Here’s the Sony Red Band Trailer. If you don’t want to be offended you probably shouldn’t watch:
I’ve been hearing these guys talk about this project on different talk shows for awhile now.
It sounds like a funny concept to me but I’m a male with a warped sense of humor so I’m basically their target demographic.
I give them credit for actually getting the studio to put up the money needed for Pixar quality rendering…or for getting a studio for doing something completely outside of the box for that matter.
PREDICTIONS:
People will be divided on whether it is hysterical or garbage. There will be very little in between.
There will be adults who would have thought it was funny but won’t go because they’ll think it is a kids’ movie based on a quick look at the poster.
Also based only on a quick look at the poster, there will be many clueless parents who will be like, “Hey this looks like a good movie to take the kids to!” only to be horrified.
Anyway, I will have to check this out and write a review for my 3.5 readers when it comes out.
Hess starts with the case of Izabel Laxamana, a girl who sent a selfie to a boy from school. Her father’s punishment was to cut off Izabel’s hair and took a video asking her if it was worth it.
According to the article, the video made the rounds on social media, the school got involved. Izabel later jumped off a bridge. (It isn’t totally clear this made her do that but it couldn’t have helped either)
Yikes. And I thought Uncle Hardass was tough.
Hess goes on to talk about public shaming being an ancient thing. Schools no longer make kids wear “dunce caps” and teachers don’t beat kids with “the rod” anymore.
For a long time, parents would dole out whatever punishment they deemed necessary, but they’d do it within the confines of their home.
Now, as Hess explains, there seems to be a new trend for parents to punish their kids via online humiliation, taking an embarrassing video – maybe making the kid confess or in one case Hess discusses, a father made his son dance around in skinny jeans and posted a video online (apparently Dad wasn’t a fan of the skinny jeans).
Sigh. It seems no matter what the technology is, there will always be people who abuse it.
I’m not saying let kids get away with everything but holy crap, whatever happened to a good lecture and some grounding?
Things put on the Internet last forever…FOREVER. Sure, maybe you’re a dumb parent and you think you’re helping your kid by shaming them out of bad behavior by posting an online video.
But keep in mind that video follows the kid everywhere. His/Her friends will eventually see it. Shit, ten years later a potential employer might find it through a Google search, decide not to hire your adult kid and he/she is now stuck living on your couch forever.
Maybe the millennials have it worse than we thought. Every day their dumb parents are posting pictures and videos of them online that will definitely keep many of them out of a presidential bid.
Shit. Right now there could be a kid who could have grown up to become the president that solves all our problems and unites us all but it’ll never happen because I don’t know, his dumb parents posted a picture of him picking his nose or whatever.
Anyway. It’s just some food for thought. Social media can be a great tool, giving voice to people who otherwise would have remained voiceless.
The downside is…there are a lot of people using it to do dumb things.
Parents…as mad as your kids will make you, and they surely will from time to time, “social media shaming” (holy crap there’s a term for it) is not the way to go.
It is by Mitch Albom, author of Tuesdays with Morrie, which is a great book by the way.
The synopsis: Teacher took nude selfie for husband for Valentine’s Day. Left it on her phone. Left phone unattended on her desk. Student picked up phone, went through it, found the naughty photo, took a picture of it, sent it around everywhere, teacher gets fired, eventually student gets in trouble.
Tough case, right? Yes, it is very stupid to take a naked picture of yourself and doubly stupid to leave it on your phone. There’s no guarantee of privacy on the Internet so anything you don’t want “out there” shouldn’t be created in the first place.
But then again, this is her private phone. No one has the right to go through any item that belongs to someone and look around through it.
Yet, I can also see the argument that she brought this phone into a school. When she did, she brought every virtual piece of data on the phone into the school, including the nude photo.
Definitely should have had a passcode on the phone. Who doesn’t have a passcode on their phone these days?
I can sympathize with the teacher. Some silly thing she did in passing, something she thought only she had access to, never thought it would lead to anything.
I do think this is an issue where lawyers.have taken away common sense in the workplace. The common sense approach would have been to give the teacher a lecture to never let this happen again or else you’re fired.
But I assume the administrators felt the safest thing (for them) would be to fire her outright.
Anyway, lessons to be learned:
Don’t take nude photos of yourself. I don’t because no one wants to see that. You shouldn’t because no matter how secure you think you are, it can always get out somehow.
If you’re stupid and do so anyway, don’t leave them on your device. Delete, delete, delete.
Keep in mind when you take your phone into a public building, you’re taking everything on it into a public building.
As a general rule, since your privacy can’t be guaranteed on the Internet, the best practice is to not do anything on the Internet that you wouldn’t want to explain to the authorities and/or your mother later.
Put a passcode on your phone!
Don’t leave your phone unattended. Keep it with you at all times.
FORMULA = ASIDE TO CAMERA + “AS THEY SAY IN GAFFNEY” + NEEDLESSLY COMPLICATED WORD CHOICES + PLOTTING
“I want some cereal.”
TRANSLATION: As they say in Gaffney, “breakfast is the most important meal of the day.” And as the President of the United States, my days are more important than those of the average man. But which cereal, pray tell, should I feast upon as a prelude to this glorious morn?
Captain Crunch? Hardly seems worth the time of a man of my stature. Why would a sea captain be so interested in cereal anyway? It boggles the mind.
Lucky Charms? Bland oats and sugary marshmallows. My teeth hurt just thinking about it and really, is there such a thing as luck? I’ve gotten where I am through sheer will and determination. Dumb luck had nothing to do with it.
Fruity Pebbles? As delightful as it would be to watch my milk turn various colors I must resist as this Flintstones themed product harkens my mind back to prehistoric times – the days when a man was allowed to be a man. If he wanted food, he killed it. If he wanted something, he took it. And if he wanted a woman, he took her.
Oh how I would have been a god had I lived amongst early man. It’s best to not remind myself about what I missed out on.
Perhaps I’ll just have some Kashi Go Lean. Mix in some fruit. Full of fiber. Good for the bowels. Cleanses them of their deepest, darkest secrets, the things you don’t want anyone else to know about, the things everyone has done but ironically, no one would ever forgive you for.
THE GREATEST GENERATION – People who came of age during World War II. Put their lives on hold due to Hitler’s epic douchebaggery. Post-War, the country was prosperous. Highways and infrastructure were built. New homes and communities made. They settled down and had…
THE BABY BOOMERS – The children of the Greatest Generation. Many went off to Vietnam. Others became hippies, embraced flower power and shit. Turbulent times. Assassinations. Fights over civil rights. Sid and Marty Krofft TV shows that blew kids minds and made people wonder if Sid and Marty weren’t taking a little something.
GENERATION X – The baby boomers’ kids. I was born on the tail end of this so I identify as a Generation Xer. We grew up in the 1980s, a time of relative peace and prosperity. In fact, things were so good that we kind of got depressed about it in the 1990s. With no wars or major events to bring us together, we just wore a lot of flannel and listened to incredibly boring alternative grunge music.
Typical lyrics were, “I am depressed…I’m sooo depressed, I am depressed about what will happen next. I dress like a lumberjack, because life is no good, oh look at me I’m going to chop wood…chop wood chop wood chop wood chop wood!”
Be careful what you wish for though because just as we were getting our lives started as young adults, terrorists crashed planes into the World Trade Center and Pentagon. A whole new era of bullshit came to fruition.
Politics became nastier as a result. Not that it ever wasn’t but the country split right down the middle. Confidence was shaken. Businesses went belly up. The economy tanked. I dare say we’re the first generation in a long time to not do as well as their parents.
And it’s our turn to take things over, isn’t it? You’d think so. But look at the presidential contenders. Hilary and Trump are both about 70. Those pesky baby boomers are just going to hang onto everything forever. Thanks a lot, improved health care.
Except, not really. The Greatest Generation knew when it was time to go to Florida and play golf and shit. The Baby Boomers are going put their brains in robot bodies and still be running shit in 2100.
True, computers were pretty lame back when we were kids. Having the Internet was considered like a weird, ham radio type hobby until I went to college and then it kind of exploded. But Generation X embraced and popularized the Internet in its early days, Instant Messaging which would eventually be replaced by texting, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. You’re welcome. Or we’re sorry, depending on your view of the Internet.
Actually, we will never apologize for Buffy. Frankly, we’re wondering why in this new age of new life being breathed into old shows, why isn’t there a Buffy rehash? Sarah Michelle Gellar and Alyson Hannigan still have their moves and honestly, Nicholas Brendon could use the work to keep him out of trouble.
I digress. If you’re a Generation Xer, you feel like the world skipped you over. Angst, angst, angst…SHIT AL QAEDA!!! angst..angst…angst… Such has been our lives.
I get a little offended when we’re lumped in with the Baby Boomers. Watch the news and you’ll hear about Baby Boomers or Millenials. Generation X is never mentioned. Maybe because the plural form is the non-catchy “Generation Xer.” Thanks, person who named our generation.
Even worse, I think the millennials aren’t aware of Generation X. They just think everyone born before 1990 is a Baby Boomer.
Example, at my company, Beige Corp, the world’s premiere producer of beige products and supplies, millennials will look at me and be like, “Why can’t that BOOMER die already so I can have his job?”
And I’ll be like, “Jesus Christ! I’m not that old! You’ve skipped an entire generation! People who liked the A-Team as kids are not ready to croak yet. Shoo! Shoo! Go bother that guy in accounting who liked Lassie when he was a kid. He’s going to croak any minute.”
Shit. Generation X was really screwed over. Which brings us to:
THE MILLENIALS – Have never known a life where you couldn’t think of a question and ask the Internet. I get a little worried about them whenever they say things like “safe space.” But the Baby Boomers hated my flannel. And the Greatest Generation hated the Baby Boomers’ tie dye shirts. And whoever the hell was before the Greatest Generation really did not like those…I don’t know. Whatever the hell they had.
So go forth, Millenials. Enjoy being relevant much earlier that my dear Gen Xers were. And I’m just kidding. You guys are great. Please check my blog often and if I ever write a book buy several copies. Snapchat it to your instatwitter.
But please try to remember that Gen Xers aren’t as old as the Baby Boomers. Anyone who watched Buffy in her prime isn’t ready to throw in the towel just yet.
I read this column, “The Dark Side of Rom-Coms” on the CNN website by Julia Lippman, a post-doctoral fellow in communication studies at the University of Michigan and thought it would make for a good discussion here.
Go read it. The gist is basically those romantic comedies might not be harmless as you think. A guy who stands outside a girl’s window holding a boom box in the air a la Say Anything is weird. A guy who hires a private investigator to track down his prom date thirteen years later a la Something About Mary is even weirder.
Though in the context of movies, we laugh and have fun, men might be taking cues to relentlessly pursue or even stalk women…that they might get it in their heads that their persistent advances on uninterested women aren’t bad behavior but rather, charming displays of romance a la Lloyd Dobler.
Hmmm. Well, here’s my first observation:
I am a man and I have zero interest in romantic comedies.Romantic comedies are made for, geared towards, and primarily marketed to women.
There’s Something About Mary isn’t really a good example. That’s more of a raunchy comedy that just happens to involve romance. I liked that one, but any other romantic comedy? No. No interest.
I’ve never seen a commercial that went like this…
He was a guy down on his luck. She was the girl who had it all. This summer, Hunky Guy and Hot Girl in Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah.
…and was like “OMG I MUST SEE THIS!” No. Never. I’ve never seen a rom-com on my own. Any time I’ve seen one involved seeing it because someone else wanted to see it.
Are there all different varieties of men? Yes. Are there some men who like romantic comedies? Sure.
But I don’t like them and while I don’t know if there’s been a study commissioned on this, I’d dare say the lion’s share of men aren’t spending their days thinking “Oh my God I want to see She’s My Gal or Love in the Time of Love or whatever dopey title the latest romantic schlock is called.
So in my opinion, don’t worry. Men aren’t going to become stalkers because of rom-coms because we’re too busy watching super hero movies.
Why? That leads us to my next observation:
As a man, I prefer action movies, super hero movies and so on.
Here is the plot of Avengers 2: Age of Ultron:
A billionaire in an iron suit, a Norse God, a scientist who turns into a green rage monster when he gets mad, an invincible WWII veteran, a Russian assassin and an expert arrow shooter join forces to stop an evil robot.
I loved it. I enjoyed it. And do you know why? Though it was sheer, utter fantastic nonsense, it was more believable than any rom com ever written.
Why? My next observation:
Love rarely works out as perfectly as it does in the movies.
It really, really doesn’t. Which leads to another observation:
Personally, I believe if there is any “risk” involved in rom-coms, it is that they encourage women to yearn for highly unlikely Hollywood generated scenarios that could never happen in real life, all the while ignoring what’s around them.
I’m just going by personal experience. Over the years, women have basically trained me to treat a first date like a job interview. What are the job interview rules?
Don’t sneeze.
Don’t burp.
Don’t fart.
Don’t scratch.
Make a little eye contact but not too much. Don’t talk about anything controversial.
Don’t say anything that resembles your thoughts, opinions, hopes and or dreams.
Ask questions and provide a general sense of interest. However, not too much interest. Don’t inquire about anything deep or meaningful. Stick to the weather. “Nice weather we are having” will prove that you are alive and have a pulse but cannot be construed as being too intimate.
Don’t be yourself at all. You are horrible. Wait to be yourself until you’re hired and then it is too much of a chore to replace you.
I mean that’s pretty much what dating has become now, thanks in large part to Hollywood convincing women through romantic movies that they should expect pure, unadulterated perfection out of men at all times or bust.
Men can follow all those rules and still be rejected when women jump to conclusions based on harmless stimuli:
MAN SCRATCHES HEAD.
WOMAN THINKS: He scratched his head sixty seven minutes into the date. That’s a deal breaker. I’ll be damned if I’m going to be saddled with a head scratcher!
MAN DROPS HIS KEYS.
WOMAN THINKS: He dropped his keys. Clearly has reflex issues. I’ll be picking up his keys until the end of time.
MAN SHOWS UP EARLY.
WOMAN THINKS: Must be obsessed with me. Clearly thought about me all day. Probably slept over in the restaurant parking lot all night and day just to be here five minutes early.
MAN SHOWS UP LATE
WOMAN THINKS: What a self-absorbed psychopath to make me wait five minutes.
You laugh! You laugh, but this is what men are facing now. Thanks to handsome, hunky men in romantic comedies who always say and do the right thing, we have to deal with women who aren’t happy unless we’re jacked up and all muscly, picking them up on our white horses with the wind blowing our luxurious hair and we never make a mistake or do anything wrong.
I mean, holy shit, if you’re an average man and you’ve got a wife that Hollywood has trained to think you should look and act like early 1990’s Hugh Grant, then good luck to you if you forget to rinse off your dish before you go to bed one night as she’s going to divorce you, take half your shit and go off in search of Mr. Romantic Comedy Man, who does not exist.
And if you have a pimple, or some minor bodily flaw? Jesus Christ, forget it. Just forget it. Wait for the scientific community to invent robot girlfriends because you’re never getting a human girlfriend when Hollywood is telling women to hold on because Bradley F$%King Cooper is going to swoop in and whisk them away any second.
BQB, this column is getting a little one sided. Surely there are movies that mess with men’s minds too.
There are. There are probably dudes who see hot actresses and expect that women who have jobs and commitments should look like they spend 24 hours a day working on their bodies the way actresses do. There are probably even dudes who like rom coms and expect a woman to be perfect like the rom com leading lady.
Anyway, those are my main observations. Lippman did end her column by pointing out that she isn’t in favor of banning rom coms or anything. And she does note, as I would point out too, that only an idiot would take love advice from a movie.
And if you take the rom com part of it out, the more debate worthy topic might be when does pursuit cross the line into stalking?
Everyone probably has a different idea on that. My general argument would be if you like someone and know your friend is a friend of that someone and said friend is throwing a party and you ask to come so you can chat up the person you’re interested in, that’s just an attempt at kindling amore.
But if you know none of those people and just followed a person you saw walking down the street to a party and you spent the whole night in a dark van waiting to catch a glimpse…yeah, you might be a stalker.
All joking aside, if you like someone, be cool, give it a respectful try, but once rebuffed, realize that there are other fish in the sea, so plant your hook elsewhere.
Do I really have to call “SPOILERS” on a movie about an event thats been in the news for years?
Probably. There’s a lot more than what the news covered.
BQB here with a review of 13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi.
Hello 3.5 readers.
I’m just going to say it. I almost thought about not writing this review because I do my best to keep this blog non-political. This blog is about books, writing, and my adventures as a magic bookshelf caretaker forced to launch a writing career in order to satisfy the whims of a maniacal alien overlord known as the Mighty Potentate.
All hail the Mighty Potentate.
But – it is a movie. And it is a pretty good one. And I do write movie reviews soo…here it goes.
However, before I begin, please remember that whether you’re a Democrat, or a Republican, or a member of some other party, please know that I still want you to like me and more importantly, I want you to spend lots and lots of money on the books I one day hope to put out whenever I get around to writing them.
Where to start? The whole situation was a mess. After Qadaffi, the country’s dictator, was ousted, Libya descended into chaos (well, much more chaos than usual) with rival gangs vying for territory and control.
There were two U.S. locations in Benghazi involved – a State Department compound and a CIA site.
It became pretty clear that Libya was becoming so dangerous that U.S. personnel needed to either leave or more security forces had to be added.
Neither happened. Instead, the government sent Ambassador Chris Stevens, a high level target for terrorists, to stay at the State Department compound. According to the film, the U.S. government felt that the time was ripe for diplomacy with Libya (they’ll like us because we helped get rid of Qadaffi!) and that additional security would send an unfriendly message to the Libyans (because, you know, Libya is world renowned for its hospitality.)
Long story short, a group of CIA security contractors (John Krakinski from the Office and that guy who plays Pornstache on Orange is the New Black were the only actors I recognized) travel to the ambassador’s residence (when it is under attack) in an attempt to save Stevens.
SPOILER ALERT FOR PEOPLE WHO DON’T READ NEWSPAPERS OR WATCH CNN – Stevens dies when the ambassador’s residence is set on fire. The CIA contractors manage to save Stevens’ security detail.
The group returns to the CIA location and whammo the terrorists start attacking there. The contractors spend a long ass night fighting off wave after wave of attackers. Perhaps I didn’t pay as much attention to the press coverage as I should have, but I never realized just how intense and long that battle was, so props to the security forces for fending off the bad guys for so long.
By the end of it all the deceased included:
Ambassador Chris Stevens
Information Officer Sean Smith
CIA Operatives Glenn Doherty and Tyrone Woods
From the movie, its clear that there were many acts of bravery, these dudes taking on all kinds of heat from all sides all night and its something I certainly couldn’t have done.
Now here comes the hard part.
It is clear that were a lot of bad decision made by the powers that be. And something I never realized from the news coverage – that CIA location had a whole helluvalot of people working there without much security.
A small security force fended off a much larger terrorist attack and saved the day but holy crap, had they not done so a lot of people would have been slaughtered. Way too many people being protected by too few.
They should have either been allowed to clear out or been provided with additional manpower. More help should have arrived sooner when the attack began. Throughout the movie, theres help nearby that can be deployed, but all kinds of ridiculous, bureaucratic nonsense intervenes.
Is this opinion I’m about to say popular? Probably not. But here it goes. You, the public, were totally lied too. Bad decision making let this whole mess happen and then the government tried to cover it up with some nonsense that it was a spontaneous protest over an anti-Islamic video that got out of control and could never have been predicted.
Sigh. Yeah. Protestors don’t have mortars. Protestors don’t have training. Protestors aren’t heavily armed with AKs and so on.
The government really should have just been straight with people and been like, “Yup. We screwed up. Here’s what we did wrong and here’s what we’ll do so it doesn’t happen again.”
Another issue the film raises that we didn’t hear much about in the media – a number of good Libyans did come to the security team’s aid. Some fought along side with them in the attempt to rescue the ambassador. Others provided them with information “i.e. don’t go that way there’s bad guys over there, etc.” A Libyan interpreter who could have left at the start sticks with the team till the end.
And after the attack, over a hundred thousand Libyans held a demonstration to state they did not support the attack.
Soo…ok…the Middle East is a place of great turmoil, but it should be remembered that not everyone there is a total dick.
As for the election…Hilary did get up and make the statement, “What difference does it make?” i.e. was it an attack or was it a protest over videos. I’m sorry. It does make a difference. Government needs to be honest with people.
Does that mean Trump is any better? No. I have misgivings about a candidate who feels “schlonged” is acceptable vocabulary for the leader of the free world.
To break my non-political rule just this once, this may be the election where South Park’s admonition that all elections come down between the choice between a douche or a turd sandwich is truer than ever.
Hell, it might be the first election where I don’t even vote.
But…you should vote for whoever you want and still feel welcome in my 3.5 readers club. And more importantly, you should a) not hate me for briefly dipping a toe into political waters for purposes of a movie review and b) more, more importantly, buy lots of copies of my future books that have yet to be written.
Finally, one issue the movie points out to take away from all of this. There’s a tendency in the media to treat wartime security contracts like crap, like they’re evil cutthroat mercenaries or something but its obvious that they also do a lot of good and in this case, prevented a lot of people from being killed.
Hey 3.5 brothers.
Bookshelf Battle 